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Toons from the Crypt/Transcript

Act One

(The episode begins outside a gate with two letter Ts on it. The wind blows, and the gate opens as the camera zooms in on the mansion in the distance. It then cuts to a view of the mansion's porch and zooms in on the doors. Furrball, who was previously asleep, awakens, screams in fear, and runs away. The camera cuts to a further-zoomed in view as continues zooming in as it moves past the doors, then cuts to a view inside the mansion, moving front he left side of the screen to the right, until it reaches a doorway in the distance, which it then zooms in on. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-in view of the doorway and continues zooming in on it, then cuts to a view inside the doorway, where there are various coffins, one of which is brown. The camera zooms in on the brown coffin, then cuts to a zoomed-in view of it and continues zooming in until it opens. It then cuts to a view of the open coffin as Buster rises out, dressed like the Cryptkeeper from Tales From the Crypt. He laughs sinisterly, then climbs out of the coffin and falls onto the floor. He then picks himself up)

Buster: "Welcome, kiddies, for a selection of cartoons so ghoulishly gruesome, we can only call them, Toons From the Crypt!

(Buster laughs sinisterly. The camera cuts to a view of a desk as he jumps into the chair, then pulls out a comic book from the pile. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view)

Buster: "I've brought out some real screamers tonight."

(Buster holds the comic book up to the screen. on the cover, underneath the words, TOONS FROM THE CRYPT is Hamton backed into a corner as a silhouette of his Father looks as if he is about to attack him)

Buster: "Starting off with this blood-curdling tale,"

(Buster pulls the comic back down)

Buster: "Of a panicked pig, which I call, Wait Till' Your Father Gets Even!"

(Buster laughs sinisterly. The camera cuts back to the previous view as he leans over in the chair, knocking it and himself over, as well as launching the comic into the air and causing it to land in front of the desk. The screen fades to black)

Wait Till' Your Father Gets Even

(The title card is shown, which shows the comic book stacked atop a pile of other comic books. The screen fades to black, then to a view of the swings and slide at the Acme Park. As Plucky and Hamton talk to each other, the camera moves to the right side of the screen until it reaches them, then zooms in on them. They are playing jacks and Hamton has brought his Father's prized bottle cap collection)

Plucky (heard offscreen): "Gee, Hamton, you're a natural."

Hamton (heard offscreen): "It's just beginner's luck."

Plucky (heard offscreen): "No, really, you're the best jacks player I've ever seen."

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky and Hamton together as Hamton giggles. It then cuts to a view of the ball as Plucky grabs it, then to a view of Plucky as he tosses the ball and grabs it, followed by a zoomed-in view)

Plucky: "I wish I could handle the ball the way you do, Magic."

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of Hamton as he giggles)

Hamton: "Golly, I'm really not doing anything special."

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky by himself)

Plucky: "Hey, do you think we could play one more game?" (Plucky reaches offscreen and pulls out a halo) "I'll let you have my halo."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out overhead view)

Hamton: "Oh, I couldn't take…"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Plucky)

Plucky: "Oh, well, if you couldn't take it, we could, um, what's the word, uh… 'bet' for it?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Hamton as he gasps. Lightning flashes and thunder crashes in the background)

Hamton: "You mean, gamble?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Plucky walks up to Hamton)

Plucky: "Oh, no, no, no! Just a friendly little wager."

(The camera cuts to an overhead view)

Plucky: "Um, you know, my halo for your, um, your Dad's bottle cap collection!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the bottle cap collection and zooms in on it. Hamton gasps)

Hamton (heard offscreen): "Dad's collected them since he was a kid!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Hamton by himself)

Hamton: "They're priceless! He'd be… really angry with me."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out opposing view of Plucky and Hamton together)

Plucky: "Sure. I understand. You're probably just saying that so I won't lose my halo and go home crying. You're a pal."

(Plucky walks away. The camera cuts to a view of Hamton by himself)

Hamton: "Uh, no, it's just…"

(Plucky returns and shakes Hamton's hand rapidly)

Plucky: "Then we have a bet!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the jacks as Plucky runs up to them, dressed in a white hat)

Plucky: "Ladies and gentlemen, the game is jacks! Winner take all!"

(The camera cuts to a view of a speechless Hamton, then to a zoomed-out opposing view as Plucky bounces the ball with his feet. It then cuts to a zoomed-in view as Plucky rolls the ball across his arms, then to a view of his left hand as he spins the ball on it. The camera then cuts to a view of Plucky as he snaps his fingers and lightly tosses the ball, then to a close-up of a nervous, sweaty Hamton, followed by a view of the jacks as the ball bounces and Plucky scoops it and the jacks, winning the game. It then cuts to a view of him)

Plucky: "I win!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the bottle cap collection as Plucky picks it up)

Plucky: "Thanks."

(The camera cuts to a view of a distraught Hamton, then to a view of the park's walkway as Plucky bounces across it, carrying the bottle cap collection, and Hamton watches)

Plucky (singing): "Just call me a lucky duck, just call me a lucky duck, just call me a lucky duck, and I'll call you a… SUCKER!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out opposing view of a lonely Hamton, then to a zoomed-in view)

Hamton: "How can I face my Dad?"

(Hamton picks up his backpack and puts it on)

Hamton: "He'll be so disappointed."

(Hamton walks away as dark clouds suddenly appear. Lightning flashes, thunder crashes, and it starts to rain. The camera cuts to a view of a sad Hamton walking down the park's walkway, then to a view of a bus stop as he stops near it. A bus arrives and opens its door and Hamton walks inside. The bus' door then closes and the bus drives away. The camera then cuts to a view of Hamton sitting on the bus from outside the window)

Hamton: "That's what I get for gambling; now I know how Pete Rose feels.

(The screen transitions to a view outside Hamton's house. It has stopped raining, and the bus stops, drops Hamton off, and drives away. Hamton walks up to the door, and the camera cuts to a view of it)

Hamton: "At least my Mom will understand."

Winnie (heard offscreen): "YOU DID WHAT?!"

(Winnie's yelling causes the screen to break into pieces as a transition to the next scene, where she and Hamton are in the kitchen. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of her. Needless to say, she is not happy with Hamton)

Winnie: "How could you?"

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of a sad Hamton, then an opposing view of him and Winnie as she scolds him)

Winnie: "Just march yourself right up to your room!"

(Hamton walks away. The camera cuts to a view of the stairs as he walks sadly up them)

Winnie (heard offscreen): "Forget about dinner, young man!"

(The camera cuts to an opposing overhead view as Hamton continues to walk upstairs. Winnie appears from the doorway. The camera then cuts to an opposing view of her at the bottom of the stairs as Hamton reaches the top)

Winnie: "Wait till' your father gets home!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Hamton at the top of the stairs, then to a view of the doorway of his parents' bedroom as he looks at it from outside. The camera then cuts to a view inside his parents' bedroom and moves from the left side of the screen to the right, until it reaches a nightstand under a sign that says, BOTTLE CAP COLLECTION. A Golden aura flashes around the empty space where the bottle cap collection would have been. The camera cuts back to the previous view as Hamton walks away, then it cuts to a view inside his bedroom as he opens the door and focuses on him as he walks in, removes his backpack, and walks up to his bed. He then sits down, and the camera cuts to an opposing view of him with his hands cupped together, groaning)

Hamton: "I'm doomed!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Hamton as a thought balloon appears above him. Inside the thought balloon is him facing his angry Father)

Hamton (in the thought balloon): "I lost your bottle cap collection. Can you forgive me?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of the thought balloon as Wade angrily nods his head, "No", and points to the right side of the screen. The next scene in the thought balloon is a pair of doors, which Hamton walks towards and opens. The screen transitions to a view of a really red desert that he walks down, then it transitions to a view of a path next to a leafless tree. Hamton walks down the path, and the screen transitions to a view of the Sun being covered by the clouds. The screen then transitions to a view of Hamton's feet, focusing on them as he continues walking down the path, then it transitions to an overhead view of some open wagons gathered around a bonfire as Hamton walks up to it. The camera then cuts to a view of Hamton as he gets closer to the bonfire, then to a view of some Wild Boars. It then cuts back to Hamton as the boars run up to him, growling, followed by a zoomed-in view of him as he turns his back in fear and the Boars confiscate the items from his backpack. He turns back around, then the camera cuts to an opposing view of the Wild Boar Leader, who is sitting behind the bonfire)

Wild Boar Leader: "Have any gold, any silver?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of the Wild Boar Leader)

Wild Boar Leader: "Tupperware?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Hamton)

Hamton: "Uh, no. I-I-I-I've nothing at all!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the Wild Boar Leader)

Wild Boar Leader: "Nothing? How about your self-respect?"

(The camera cuts back to Hamton)

Hamton: "Not even that! You see, I've dishonored my Dad."

(The camera cuts to a view of three of the Wild Boars, who simultaneously snort)

Wild Boars: "Horrors!"

(The camera cuts to an opposing view as Hamton walks up to the Wild Boars)

Hamton: "It's true. I gambled with his trust, and I lost!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the Wild Boar Leader)

Wild Boar Leader: "Even in the wild, we have honor among thieves. You have shamed your Father, and you shall be punished!"

(The camera zooms out)

Wild Boar Leader: "Roast him! I say, roast him!"

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of a terrified Hamton and zooms in on him)

Hamton: "No!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as the Wild Boars gang up on Hamton and tie him to a stick, then carry him away. It then cuts to a view of the Wild Boar Leader as he grunts, followed by a view of the bonfire as they toss him into it. Fire fills the screen, then the camera cuts to a view of Hamton in the real world, having awoken from his nightmare. It then cuts to a side view of him in his bedroom as he jumps off his bed and looks out the window, followed by a view of him looking out the window from outside. The sound of a car door shutting can be heard. The camera then cuts to an opposing view of Hamton watching as his Father walks down the driveway, then cuts back to the previous view and zooms in)

Hamton: "Dad!"

(Hamton walks away. As Winnie talks to Wade, the camera cuts to a view of Hamton in his bedroom and zooms in on him.)

Winnie (heard offscreen): "Ooh, now, Wade, don't be too hard on him."

(The camera cuts to a further zoomed-in view of Hamton)

Wade (heard offscreen): "Now, now, Winnie, I know what I'm doing."

(The camera cuts to a view of the doorknob as it turns, then rushes back to Hamton, who is sweating with fear)

Winnie (heard offscreen): "Well, he feels bad enough already."

Wade (heard offscreen): "Just let me take care of this."

(Hamton gulps. The camera cuts to a view of the door as Wade opens it)

Wade: "Son, can I have a word with you?"

(The camera cuts back to Hamton, focusing on him as he kneels his way towards Wade)

Hamton: "Please forgive me, please! I'll never gamble again! I promise! I don't want to get roasted by boars!"

Wade (as he picks up Hamton and walks away): "Whoa, son! Those bottle caps meant a lot to me."

(The camera cuts to a view of Wade as he sits down on Hamton's bed)

Wade: "I was hoping to give them to you, just like my Father gave them to me."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Hamton, who starts crying, then back to the previous view as Wade pats his head)

Wade: "Let's hope you've learned your lesson, son."

(The camera cuts back to Hamton and zooms in on him as he continues crying. It then cuts to a view outside Hamton's house that night. The screen then transitions to the next morning. The rooster crows, and Hamton, Wade, and Uncle Stinky are sitting on the steps. The camera cuts to a close-up of a sad Hamton and zooms out on him as he drinks a bottle of soda, then cuts to a view of him, Wade, and Uncle Stinky drinking soda together. It then cuts to a view of the cooler as Wade grabs three more bottles of soda and pulls them out, then it cuts back to the previous view)

Wade: "Say, this new collection is looking better than the first. Ready, men? Mmmm. Tops off, bottoms up!"

(Hamton, Wade, and Uncle Stinky remove the caps from their bottles, then the camera cuts to a view of a box of bottle caps as the three bottle caps fall in. It then cuts back to the previous view as they continue drinking soda, then to a zoomed-out view of Hamton's house. The screen then transitions to a view of Buster, dressed as the Cryptkeeper reading the book at his desk and zooms out on him. He turns to face the viewers)

Buster: "Yes, I know it's not the fiendishly frightening finale we usually run in these stories; for Hamton, all ended happily. But Plucky's folks took a slightly harsher view of his gambling!"

(Buster holds another book that says, TOONS FROM THE CRYPT up to the screen. On the front cover, Plucky is tied to a table, with a spiked weight above him, and a saw on the other side of the table. He is screaming in fear, trying to get away from the saw. Buster then puts the book down."

Buster: "But that's another story."

(Buster laughs wickedly as the screen fades to black, ending Act One)

Act Two

(The second act begins with a close-up of a skull, which Buster moves away from the camera, which zooms out on him)

Buster: "Welcome back, Shriek Freaks. You're just in time to watch me feed the birds!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Buster tosses the skull. It then cuts to a view of Nasty, Slim, and Lardo Condor, who are standing atop a perch. Nasty eats the skull, and Lardo punches him in the beak. The camera cuts back to Buster, who is holding another comic that says, TOONS FROM THE CRYPT on the front cover.

Buster: "Aren't they the cutest things? Of course, no one but a bad seed comes along to spoil it for the others; namely Concord, the Kindy Condor!"

(Buster shows the front cover of the comic, which shows Concord as a vet, caring for a raccoon. They are both surrounded by Nasty, Slim, and Lardo. The screen fades to black)

Concord the Kindly Condor

(The title card is shown, which shows Concord as a vet in a spotlight. In the background are the silhouettes of Nasty, Slim, and Lardo, which all resemble those of ghosts. The screen fades to black, then to a view of the Acme Forest. The camera moves from the right side of the screen to the left, until it reaches a trapped Bear, which it then zooms in on. It then cuts to a view of the bear, who is struggling to break free of the trap, when suddenly, a silhouette of a condor flies above him. He growls in fear, then the camera cuts to an underhead view of the condor as he flies down, revealing himself to be Concord Condor. The camera cuts back to the Bear as Concord lands, then to a zoomed-in view of the two of them together. As the Singers sing, Concord walks away, then comes back with a thermometer)

Singers (singing): "Concord the Kindly Condor is the friendliest bird, you bet."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of the bear, who flinches, then sighs in relief, with tiny hearts flying out, implying what Concord used the thermometer for. As the Singers continue singing, the camera cuts to Concord, revealing that he used the thermometer to pry open the trap)

Singers (singing): "He may look weird, but don't be a-feared, he just wants to be a vet!"

(The bear walks away, then returns and kisses Concord. The screen transitions to a view of two young rabbits, one purple, and one orange, as the purple one draws a circle in the grass. The tree falls over and flattens the two rabbits, who cry in pain. Concord arrives, and as the Singers sing, the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view as he opens his bag, takes out three lollipops, and gives two of them to the rabbits)

Singers (singing): "Concord the Kindly Condor helps all animals in pain,"

(The camera focuses on Concord as he walks up to Lardo and tries to give him a lollipop, but Lardo swats it away. The camera then cuts to a view of Nasty, Lardo, and Slim looking down at Concord)

Singers (singing): "His brothers think he's such a dink and treat him with disdain."

(The screen transitions to a view of an old, bearded Elk with a walker and the camera moves up to Nasty, Slim, Lardo, and Concord, who have all spied him. As the Singers sing, Nasty points down to the Old Elk, and Concord nods his head, "No". The camera then cuts to a view of a crouching Concord, who refuses to hunt the Old Elk)

Singers (singing): "He always says, 'Nope, nope'. he's such a funny creature,"

(As the Singers continue singing, the camera cuts to a view of Nasty as he kicks Concord, then to a view of Concord, focusing on him as he flies towards the Old Elk)

Singers (singing): "You might think he's a dope, but he'd never ever ever eat you!"

(As the Singers continue singing, the camera cuts to a view of Nasty, Slim, and Lardo as Concord flies into them)

Singers (singing): "Some birds are greedy slobs, but there's no one of whom we're fonder,"

(The camera cuts to a view of the path near the tree as Nasty, Slim, and Lardo crash-land, then moves to the left side of the screen as a bunch of small, defenseless animals catch Concord and carry him away)

Singers (singing): "Than that friend to animals everywhere, Concord the Kindly Condor!"

(The screen transitions to a view of the Mountain and the camera zooms in on the top. It cuts to a zoomed-out view of Slim and Lardo sitting atop a tree branch while Nasty and Concord are below)

Nasty: Okay, geek, let's run through this one more time;"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view as Nasty circles around Concord. Concord turns his head 360 degrees three times just to look at him)

Nasty: "You are a condor, right?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Concord)

Concord: "Uh, yup yup yup."

(The camera cuts back to the previous view as Nasty continues circling Concord)

Nasty: "And condors are always looking for weak and sickly animals, right?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Concord as his head unwinds and he falls over)

Concord: "Uh, yup yup yup."

(The camera cuts to a view of the tree as Nasty carries Concord by the head over the edge of the cliff)

Nasty: "And look, what do I spy?"

(The camera cuts to a view of the mountain and moves downwards until it reaches a Squirrel with a bandaged tail)

Nasty: "Why, it's a wittle Squirrel with a broken tail!"

(The camera cuts back to Nasty and Concord)

Nasty: "You know what do do, right?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Concord)

Concord: "Uh, yup!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of Nasty as he tosses Concord)

Nasty: "So, do it!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Nasty)

Nasty: "Yum! Ha ha! Squirrel loaf for dinner, boys!"

(Concord returns, carrying the Squirrel. The camera focuses on him until he reaches his bed. It then cuts to a view of a confused Slim and Lardo, followed by a view of Concord feeding the Squirrel some soup. The camera then cuts to a close-up of a furious Nasty and zooms in on him, then cuts back to Concord)

Concord: "You feel better?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of the Squirrel, who nods his head, "Yes". It then cuts back to the previous view)

Concord: "And here's a little something for later. Yup!"

(The Squirrel waves Good-bye to Concord and walks away. Nasty then taps Concord on the shoulder, then yells in his ear)

Nasty: "Knock it off!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Slim and Lardo as they slap their heads and fall off the tree branch. It then cuts to a view of Nasty and Concord as Nasty pecks Concord into the ground like a woodpecker)

Nasty: "Hello? Hello? Get this through your head, Thicko!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Nasty as a dizzy Concord recovers himself)

Nasty: "Condors don't help weak and sickly animals, we eat em'!"

(Nasty reaches offscreen and pulls out a book, which he shows to Concord)

Nasty: "See? It's right here in The Bird Book. And I quote;"

(The camera cuts to a view of the book. On the left page is an image of a Condor sitting on a tree branch in the desert, preparing to eat a dehydrated deer. On the right page are the words, CONDOR: CONDORS PREY ON THE WEAK AND SICKLY.)

Nasty: "Condors prey on the weak and sickly. Unquote."

(Concord walks up to the book. The camera then cuts to an opposing view of him and Nasty)

Concord: "Tsk tsk tsk. Appalling."

(Nasty closes the book on Concord. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view of him))

Nasty: "You're gonna make like a real condor whether you want to or not!" (as he kicks Concord and the book out the cave) "Now, go scavenge us some lunch!"

(The screen transitions to a view of the sky. Concord appears, and the camera focuses on him as he flies across it)

Concord: "Uh, nope nope nope, I ain't gonna do it! I'm a veterinarian, and I refuse to eat my patients!"

(Concord crosses his wings, causing himself to fall out of the sky. He then quickly flies himself back up)

Concord: "It would compromise the doctor/patient relationship."

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of Concord as he approaches the Old Elk. It then cuts to a side view of the two of them together as Concord lands and the Old Elk coughs)

Old Elk: "Ah, well, hello there, young feller."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view)

Old Elk: "Did you bring my rheumatism medicine?"

(The camera cuts back to the previous view as Concord opens his bag and pulls the medicine out)

Concord: "Uh, yup yup yup!" (as he hands the medicine to the Old Elk) "Right here, Mr. Elk!"

Old Elk (as he tries to open the bottle): "Oh, you're a good boy, Concord."

(The camera cuts to a view of Concord by himself)

Concord: "Awww, nope nope nope. Tweren't nothing!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Nasty, Slim, and Lardo, focusing on them as they swoop down on Concord and the Old Elk. It then cuts to a view of them as they land on the Old Elk, then to a view of Nasty as he ties a napkin around his neck)

Nasty: "Hey hey hey! All right! The wimp got an elk!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Concord as he walks up to Nasty, Slim, and Lardo, who are all wearing napkins around their necks and holding forks)

Concord: "Y'all better look out once his medicine kicks in."

(The camera cuts to a view of Nasty, Slim, and Lardo together)

Nasty: "Oooh, what's he gonna do? Hit us with his walker?"

(Nasty, Slim, and Lardo all laugh. As they laugh, the camera zooms out and a golden light shines out from underneath them. The Old Elk drags them down and beats them up. The camera cuts to a view of Concord, ducked with his hands over his head. The Old Elk walks past him, and Concord turns his head. The camera then cuts to a view of a dazed Nasty, Slim, and Lardo, who are all tied up in the Old Elk's walker)

Nasty (dizzily): "Me and my big beak."

(The screen transitions to the next scene, where Concord is with some small animals, using a flashlight on a small bear. Nasty is spying on him from the bushes as the camera zooms in on him. The camera then cuts to a view of him holding a mask of Buster Bunny)

Nasty: "This'll be easy. While Lardo gets the little dipstick's attention,"

(As Nasty hands the mask to Lardo, the camera cuts to a view of Lardo disguised as Buster with a thorn in his paw)

Nasty: "We'll sneak around and grab one of his patients!"

(Nasty, Slim, and Lardo all laugh. The camera cuts to a view of Concord and a Raccoon. Concord is holding a bottle of ointment)

Concord: "Now be sure and use that 'oint-a-ment' twice a day."

(Concord hands the bottle of ointment to the Raccoon).

Raccoon: "Yes, sir!"

(The camera zooms out as the disguised Lardo walks in)

Lardo: "Ooh! Ooh! I hurted my little paw!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the Raccoon as Nasty snatches him)

Lardo: "I hurted my little paw!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Nasty and Slim together)

Nasty: "Mmmm mmmm! Too bad there's only enough for me."

(Nasty eats the Raccoon)

Slim: "Hey! Don't be so doggone greedy!"

(Slim kicks Nasty, causing him to cough up the Raccoon.) The camera cuts to a view of the Raccoon as he flies, then to a view of Slim as he catches the Raccoon in his mouth and swallows him. It then cuts to a view of him and Nasty together as Lardo walks in without his mask)

Lardo: "Hey! Save some for me!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Lardo as he grabs Slim by the neck and squeezes it, causing him to open his mouth with the Racoon on it. It then cuts to a view of Concord, holding a lollipop in his right hand as he walks up to Nasty, Slim, and Lardo. The camera zooms out as Lardo eats the Raccoon.)

Concord: "You forgot your lollipop, Mr. Raccoon."

(The camera cuts to a view of Concord and Lardo together)

Concord: "Hey! Cough him up!"

(Concord pulls a hammer out of his bag and hits Lardo's foot with it. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Lardo as he opens his mouth, revealing the Raccoon, then focuses on the Raccoon as he falls out. It then cuts to a view of Concord, Nasty, Slim, Lardo, and the Raccoon together)

Concord: "For shame, for shame!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view)

Concord: "Picking on a poor, helpless baby!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Concord takes the Raccoon away)

Concord: "And him with a bad case of poison ivy, too."

(The camera cuts to view of Nasty, Slim, and Lardo, respectively, as they stick out their tongues, revealing rashes on them. It then cuts to a view of the three of them together as they scream in horror. They fall over, then the screen transitions to a view of Concord looking at a bear trapped in a tree trunk, with his bottom sticking out. It then cuts to a view of the other side of the trunk as Concord walks up to the Bear's nose, which is sticking out of the trunk and pats it)

Concord: "Hmmm. Stuck, huh?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view, revealing Nasty, Slim, and Lardo, having spied on Concord as he walks away)

Concord: "I'll get some ice to bring the swelling down."

(Nasty, Slim, and Lardo turn their heads to face the viewers. The camera then cuts to a view of the trunk as they walk up to the bear's nose and grab it, attempting to pull it out)

Lardo: "Yeah, we'll take care of the poor, stuck 'chip-a-munk'!"

Slim: "Nah, it ain't a chipmunk. It feels more like a possum."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Nasty, Slim, and Lardo as they continue attempting to pull the Bear out of the trunk by the nose)

Nasty: "Nah, it's a ground squirrel. I'll bet you anything."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Concord returns, carrying the ice. It then cuts to an opposing view)

Concord: "Uh, fellers, there's something you should know."

Nasty: "Quiet, geek! One more yank, and we got him!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Nasty, Slim, and Lardo as they pull the Bear's nose, causing the Bear to break the trunk. The Bear growls, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of him as he raises his paws, then to an opposing view as Nasty pulls a lollipop out of Concord's bag and laughs nervously."

Nasty: "Y-you want a lollipop, or something?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Concord as the Bear beats Nasty, Slim, and Lardo up. He walks away, then comes back, pushing a wheelbarrow. He then turns the other way when an unconscious Nasty, Slim, and Lardo are aboard it. The screen transitions to a view of the Acme Mountains as the camera zooms in on the top, then the camera cuts to a view inside the cave, moving from the right side of the screen to the left. Nasty, Slim, and Lardo are all bandaged and in bed. It then focuses on Concord as he walks up to Nasty)

Concord: "Now, don't you think it makes sense to have a vet in the family?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Nasty)

Nasty: "Okay, you can be a vet, I guess."

(The camera cuts to a view of Concord as he reaches into his bag)

Concord: "Now, let me give you something I give all my patients."

(The camera cuts back to Nasty as Slim and Lardo line up beside him)

Nasty: "A lollipop?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view)

Concord: "Uh, nope nope nope!" (As he pulls out a medical bill and shows it to Nasty, Slim, and Lardo) "My bill!"

(Nasty grabs the bill. The camera cuts to a view of him, Slim, and Lardo as they look at it together, then to a zoomed-out view, focusing on them as they scream and run out the cave, falling. It then cuts to a view of Concord)

Concord (to the viewers): "Uh, who says I don't prey on the weak and sickly?"

(Concord laughs. The screen transitions to a view of him in the comic, saying "Who says I con't prey on the weak and sickly" in his speech bubble. The camera zooms out, revealing Buster to have read the comic. It then cuts to an opposing view of him. On the back of the comic is an ad for "SEA SCAPES". He pulls the comic down to face the viewers)

Buster: "Oooh! Looks like Concord's brothers had quite a comedown, eh, kiddies?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view. As Buster is talking, his shadow forms a scary shape on the wall, specifically his hands flapping like wings)

Buster: "I guess it's true what they say; 'Birds of a feather flop together'!"

(Buster laughs sinisterly. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of him)

Buster: "And coming up next, a real bit of horror,"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Buster's face)

Buster: "A commercial!"

(Buster screams. The camera zooms in on his mouth, then the screen fades to black, ending Act Two)

Act Three

(The third act begins with a view of a voodoo doll of Elmyra Duff, which Buster is seen holding in his right hand. The camera focuses on the doll as he makes it walks)

Buster (imitiating Elmyra) "And now it's time for The Mr. Skullhead Show! Yay!"

(Buster holds a skull in his left hand)

Buster (imitating Elmyra): "Hey, Mr. Skullhead! Yes, I'm scared!"

(Buster uses the skull to chomp on the doll, beheading it)

Buster (imitating Elmyra): "Oooh, ow! Oooh, eee!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster holding the skull and zooms out on him)

Buster: "Hi-ho, tombsters! Next up, a ditzy dweeb gets hers in a cute and cuddly tale, titled,"

(Buster pulls a comic off the shelf. Like the previous comics, it has TOONS FROM THE CRYPT written on the front cover. He holds the comic up to the screen, revealing Elmyra atop a tombstone, surrounded by her zombie pets)

Buster: "Night of The Living Pets!"

(The screen fades to black)

Night of the Living Pets

(The title card is shown, which shows a furry, green, winged monster with the title written on him. The screen fades to black, then to a view of the Acme cemetery, where there is a cross with the word, FLUFFIKIN engraved on it. The camera moves from the left side of the screen to the right as the wind blows, until it reaches Elmyra's house. It zooms in on the window, then transitions to a view of a sad Elmyra sitting on the couch, looking through a photo album. Furrball is laying next to her, and Byron is sleeping in front of the couch. Elmyra sighs, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of her and Furrball)

Elmyra: "Goodbye, Goldie, my poor little fishie."

(The camera cuts to an opposing view and zooms in on one of the pictures. It then cuts to a view of that picture, where it is revealed that Elmyra has overflowed Goldie's bowl with fish food)

Elmyra (heard offscreen): "Where did I go wrong? I fed you,"

(Elmyra turns the page. On the next page, she is pouring soap into Goldie's bowl)

Elmyra (heard offscreen)': "Washed you,"

(Elmyra turns the page. On the next page, she is walking Goldie with a leash, not realizing he can't live out of water)

Elmyra (heard offscreen)': "And took you for long walks,"

(The screen transitions to a view of a picture of Elmyra attending Goldie's funeral at the Acme Cemetary, and the camera zooms out)

Elmyra (heard offscreen)': "And still, you ended up like all the others."

(Elmyra turns the page. The camera cuts to a view of a photo of her playing fetch with Moosey, a dog about to get hit by a car)

Elmyra (heard offscreen)': "Poor Moosey."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Elmyra turns the page. It then cuts to a view of a picture of her reading a book while inadvertently sucking up Boo-Boo, a mouse, with a vacuum cleaner)

Elmyra (heard offscreen)': "Poor little Boo-Boo."

(Elmyra turns the page. On the next page is a picture of her riding Flicka, a horse. The camera moves to the left side of the screen, revealing another picture of her about to yell into Flicka's ear)

Elmyra (heard offscreen): "Poor Flicka."

(The camera moves to the left side of the screen, and stops when it reaches a picture of a startled Flicka trying to push Elmyra off her. It then moves to the left side of the screen, until it stops at a picture of Elmyra watching Flicka deliberately jumping off a cliff. On the cliff is a sign that says, DANGER BRIDGE OUT. The camera cuts to a view of Elmyra and Furrball. Elmyra gears up to cry)

Elmyra: "I'm sorry you're gone. I wish I could see you all one more time."

(Elmyra closes the book and sighs. The book is revealed to have the same front cover as the one Buster had in the third wraparound. The camera moves to the window. Outside the window is a leafless tree. The screen then transitions to a view of a full moon behind some bare tree branches. It then moves down below to the pet cemetery and cuts to a view of the ground. A Zombie Dog rises from the ground and pants heavily. The camera then cuts to a view of some rocks as a Zombie Horse rises from its grave and neighs. It then cuts to a view of a cross as a Zombie Cat rises from its grave and meows, followed by a view of Elmyra's house in the distance as the Zombie Pets groan while walking their way towards it. The camera then cuts to a view of the front door as Furrball opens the pet door, then to a zoomed-in view as he comes out, meowing. He stretches, and licks himself until he hears the Zombie Pets groaning and meows in fear. The camera cuts to an opposing view as the Zombie Pets get closer to the house, then to another opposing view as Furrball turns around and runs back through the pet door. It then cuts to a view of Byron asleep on the floor as Furrball runs over him. Byron awakens and turns around, then the camera cuts to an overhead view of Elmyra's living room as Furrball runs towards the couch. It then cuts to a view of Elmyra on the couch as Furrball prepares to hide under the cushion she is sitting on)

Elmyra: "Huh? Oooh! A little cuddly-wuddly wants in!"

(Elmyra jumps off the couch and runs towards the front door. The camera cuts to a view of the front door as she runs towards it, then to a zoomed-in view as she opens it. On the other side of the door are the Zombie Pets. The camera cuts to an opposing view as Elmyra trembles, then back inside the house as she pulls out a sign that says, HELP! and holds it up. The camera cuts to a side view as Elmyra drops the sign, closes the door, and runs away, then to a normal view as the Zombie Pets smash the door to pieces and run inside. It then cuts to a view of Elmyra, zooming in on her as she screams in fear, then runs away. The camera cuts to a view of her, focusing on her as she runs to the couch (which Furrball is laying on) and pushes it. It then moves to the left side of the screen, where the Zombie Pets are coming in through the smashed front door, until they get hit by the couch. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Furrball turns around, then to a zoomed-in view as one of the Zombie Pets grabs him and pulls him in from behind the couch. The other Zombie Pets reach out, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Elmyra grunts, trying to push the couch further, but to no avail.)

Elmyra: "Do something, Byron!"

(The camera cuts to Byron, who awakens. It then cuts to a view of a nightstand as he opens the drawer and pulls out a suitcase and hat. It then focuses on him as he jumps out the window, breaking the glass and leaving a Byron-shaped hole in it. The camera cuts to a side view as Elmyra walks up to the window, then to a closer view of the window as the Zombie Pets snarl while they reach in and try to grab her. It then cuts to a view of the couch blocking the front door as the rest of the Zombie Pets break through it and push the couch out of the way, followed by a view of a terrified Elmyra, who screams and runs up the stairs as they chase after her. The camera then cuts to a view of the stairs as Elmyra runs up them, then a view of the hallway when she reaches the top. It then cuts to a view of the door to her room as she walks through it, followed by a view inside her room as she closes it and her heart beats in fear. She runs away, then the camera cuts to an opposing view of her room as she dashes under her bedsheets to hide. It then cuts to a view of her under her bedsheets, quaking in fear, then to an opposing view as she continues quaking. The view that follows is an opposing view as she pulls the bedsheets up, revealing the silhouettes of her eyes. The camera cuts back to the previous view as she pulls the sheets down, revealing her head, and it zooms in on the door. It then cuts to a view of the door as it opens, with the Zombie Pets on the other side. They growl and walk in, then the camera cuts to a view of Elmyra, who screams in fear and pulls the bedsheets back over her. It then cuts to a zoomed-out view as the Zombie Pets get closer, followed by a literal view of Elmyra under the covers, quaking in fear. The camera cuts to an overhead view of Elmyra's bed and zooms out, then cuts to a zoomed-in view as Elmyra looks out from her bedsheets. It cuts to a zoomed-out view as Elmyra pulls the bedsheets out from over her, then looks around, relieved that the Zombie Pets are gone, or so she thinks)

Elmyra: "Phew!"

(The Zombie Pets pop out out from under the bed and groan. Elmyra is still scared, but she isn't screaming. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view as she stops being scared and plugs her nose)

Elmyra: "Ewww! Gad-poo! I think somebody needs a bath!"

(The camera zooms out on Elmyra as she reaches and grabs a Zombie Dog and Cat)

Elmyra: "In fact, you could all use a good scrub down!"

(Elmyra runs away, caring the Zombie Dog and Cat. The camera cuts to a view of her bedroom as she runs to the bathroom and turns the light on, then it cuts to a view of the bathroom as she runs up to the bathtub and drops the Zombie Dog and Cat into it. Strangely, the Bathtub is already filled with water. Elmyra runs away, then comes back, carrying a box of Acme Soap, which she pours into the tub. The Camera cuts to a close-up of her face, then to an opposing view of her as she washes the Zombie Dog and Cat)

Elmyra (singing): "This is the way we wash our pets, wash our pets, wash our pets, this is the way we wash our pets, because they're dead and rotten and decaying!"

(Elmyra pulls the Zombie Dog and Cat out of the bathtub and they fall apart into dust. The camera cuts to a view of the bathroom as she walks out, then to a view of Fluffikin, a Zombie Cat, who is standing on a nightstand and screeching)

Elmyra: "Oh, Fluffikin,"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Fluffikin as Elmyra grabs him and pulls him away, then it cuts to a view of her holding him in her right arm. She pulls out a mini-vacuum cleaner with her left arm)

Elmyra: "You never could keep your coat clean!"

(Elmyra turns on the mini-vacuum and it sucks up not only Fluffikin's fur, but his skin as well, revealing his skeleton underneath. He literally falls to pieces)

Elmyra: "Nasty! Who's next?"

(Elmyra pulls out her mini-vacuum. The camera cuts to an opposing view of the other Zombie Pets and zooms out on them as they gasp in fear. Elmyra approaches them with her mini-vacuum, but they all run out the window. The camera cuts to a view of the graveyard as the Zombie Pets run back to it, then dig a hole to bury themselves in. The camera then cuts to Fluffikin, who is still in Elmyra's bedroom. He runs away as Elmyra chases him)

Elmyra: "Wait! Come back! Come back!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Elmyra's window as Fluffikin jumps out, but Elmyra grabs him by his tail/ The screen transitions to a view of Elmyra on the couch, inadvertently choking Furrball as she awakens from her nightmare)

Elmyra: "Come back!"

(Elmyra lets go of Furrball, who runs away. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view of Elmyra's living room. Furrball and Byron are now in front of the couch. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-in view as Furrball and Byron stare at Elmyra)

Elmyra: "Phew! Thank goodness it was only a dream! I was so scared! Though it was kind of fun to see all my old cuddly-wuddlies again!

(Elmyra runs away. Furrball and Byron turn their heads towards her, then the screen transitions to a view of the graveyard, where a silhouette of Elmyra can be seen digging up her deceased pets)

Elmyra: "Hold on, you cute petsie-wetsies! Elmyra's coming to play!"

(The screen fades to black)

Epilogue

(The screen transitions to a view of Buster reading a TOONS FROM THE CRYPT comic)

Buster: "Oooh, ycuk! Even I don't 'dig' that creepy ending! I'd better get while the getting's good! see you next time, 'Tombsters'!"

(Buster laughs sinisterly. The camera zooms in on him as he shows the front cover, which has a picture of him. The screen fades to black, and the credits roll)

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