Sports Shorts/Transcript
Act One
(The episode begins in a gym. Buster appears, dressed in a green sweater and an orange baseball cap, blowing a silver whistle. He blows the whistle, and the camera zooms out on him as he walks in place)
Buster: "Up and at em', toonsters! Today we're gettin' physical with a rousing duo of sports cartoons!"
(Babs, dressed in a yellow tank-top, magenta shorts, a magenta heaband, and yellow ear ribbons, jogs up behind him)
Babs: "Yahoo! All right!"
(The camera cuts to a close-up of Babs)
Babs (flatly): "Oh, boy."
(Babs spins in a manner similar Taz the Tasmanian Devil. The camera cuts to a view of Buster as Babs brings in a golf bag, a basketball, a hockey stick, a baseball, baseball bats, and some helmets)
Babs: "We've got golf, baseball, football,"
(Babs leaves and returns, setting down a basketball hoop, a bowling ball, bowling pins, a medicine ball, boxing gloves, and a baseball glove)
Babs: "Hockey, hang gliding,"
(Babs leaves, then returns with an oxygen tank and a soccer ball)
Babs: "Lawn bowling, skeet shooting,"
(Babs leaves, then returns with a hang glider)
Babs: "Tennis, and deep sea diving."
(Babs leaves, then returns with an anchor, which she inadvertently sets down on Buster's foot)
Buster: "Ow!"
(The camera cuts to a close-up of all the sports equipment Babs brought in, which Buster recovers himself from)
Buster: "And let's not forget the most important piece of equipment for the modern sports enthusiast;"
(Buster pulls himself out of the rubble, then the camera cuts to a view of Babs as he stands next to her. A giant television set lands behind her.)
Buster: "Big screen TV!"
(Babs pulls out a remote control and pushes the button. The TV turns on, showing what appears to be the desert. Buster and Babs run off, then the camera cuts to a view of the gym as they stop in the spotlight. A purple couch lands next to them, and they sit down it, holding popcorn, soda, and Pizza)
Babs: "Punch up the Sports Channel."
(Buster pulls out a remote control and pushes the button. He and Babs chant together, and the screen fades to black)
Minister Golf
(Plucky's intro tag is shown, followed by the title card, which shows the flag of a miniature golf course next to the title, which is drawn in red, blue, yellow, and green crayons. The screen fades to black, then to the next scene, taking place at a golf course. The camera moves over to Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton, who are getting ready to putt at the 18th hole. It then cuts to an opposing view of them, then to a close-up of Plucky)
Plucky: "Ahhh, I remember my very first time on the links."
(An angry Hamton shows up next to Plucky)
Hamton: "Never say "links" in the presence of a pig!"
Plucky: "Oh. Sorry, Hammy. Heh."
(Hamton runs away. The camera cuts to a view of Plucky, Buster, Babs and Hamton. It then focuses on Hamton's golf ball as he hits it)
Plucky: "Ah, those were the good old days; just me and my dad."
(The screen fades to black, then flashes back to a miniature golf course, where a mother duck and her child can be seen playing miniature golf on a bridge. As he camera moves to the right side of the screen, a family of turtles can be seen playing minature golf as well, with their Mother videotaping it with a camcorder. It moves past the sign for the Acme Putt-o-rama golf course, and stops at the entrance booth as a Mother dog is standing next to it, tying her son's shoe. After his shoe is tied, she picks him up and carries him away as Mr. Duck and Baby Plucky walk up to the entrance booth. The camera cuts to an opposing view of Baby Plucky, sucking his thumb and standing next to Mr. Duck)
Mr. Duck: "So, Plucky, are you all set to play miniature golf?"
(Baby Plucky stops sucking his thumb)
Baby Plucky: "Yes, Sir. Wanna play minister golf.
(Baby Plucky continues sucking his thumb)
Mr. Duck: "Heh heh. Miniature golf."
(Baby Plucky stops sucking his thumb)
Baby Plucky: "Yes, Sir. Minister golf. Wanna hit the ball down the hole."
(Baby Plucky continues sucking his thumb as the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of him. Mr. Duck turns around and hands him a golf club and a red golf ball)
Mr. Duck: "All right, then. Here's your putter, and here's your ball."
(The camera cuts back to the zoomed-in view as Baby Plucky looks at the red golf ball)
Baby Plucky: "No red, blue! Don't want red ball, want blue ball!"
Mr. Duck (heard offscreen): "Okay, okay, hang on!"
(The camera zooms in on Baby Plucky as he sucks his thumb, then stops)
Baby Plucky: "Don't want red ball, want blue ball! Don't want red ball, want blue ball! Blue ball! Not red, blue!"
(The camera cuts back to the zoomed-out view as Baby Plucky continues complaining)
Baby Plucky: "I want blue ball! Blue ball, blue, blue, blue! Want blue!"
(Mrs. Bunny and Baby Babs pass by him as he complains. Baby Babs is holding a blue golf ball in her left hand. She runs back to Baby Plucky to show him)
Baby Babs: "Eat your heart out!"
(Baby Babs runs back to Mrs. Bunny as Baby Plucky drops his golf club and begins crying. He falls to the ground and throws a tantrum, and the camera zooms in on him)
Baby Plucky (crying): "Blue ball! I want a blue ball! Blue ball!"
Mr. Duck (heard offscreen): "Plucky, Plucky! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Calm down, Calm down! Here, look! Look, here's a blue ball!"
(Mr. Duck hands Baby Plucky a blue golf ball, and Baby Plucky stops crying)
Baby Plucky: "Huh?"
(Baby Plucky grabs the blue golf ball)
Baby Plucky: "Blue ball! My blue ball!"
(Baby Plucky kisses the blue golf ball)
Baby Plucky: "It's blue!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view)
Baby Plucky: "It's not red, it's blue! My blue ball!"
(Mr. Duck sighs)
Mr. Duck: "I'm happy that you're happy, son. Come on, let's go play!"
(Mr. Duck walks away. Baby Plucky picks up his golf club and follows him)
Baby Plucky: "Wanna play Minister golf!"
(The camera cuts to a close-up of Plucky as he walks behind Mr. Duck, carrying his blue golf ball in his right hand and his golf club in his left)
Baby Plucky: "Wanna hit the blue ball down the hole!"
(Baby Plucky giggles and walks offscreen. The screen transitions to a view of a windmill and a candy house, and the camera moves over to Mr. Duck, who is teaching Baby Plucky how to play miniature golf)
Mr. Duck: "Okay, son, here's the basic idea;"
(The camera cuts to a view of Baby Plucky as Mr. Duck sets his golf ball down on the starting point and prepares to hit it)
Mr. Duck: "You place the ball here, stand over it like so, swing the putter, and hit it!"
(Mr. Duck hits the golf ball. The camera cuts to a view of it, focusing on it as it rolls across the course)
Mr. Duck (heard offscreen): "It goes down the ramp, into the candy house,"
(The camera cuts to a view of the other side of the candy house as Mr. Duck's golf ball slides down the slide and rolls into the hole, getting a perfect hole in one)
Mr. Duck (heard offscreen): "Loops down a slide, rolls across the green, and, into the hole. Hey, a hole in one!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Mr. Duck and Baby Plucky's backsides. Baby Plucky turns around)
Baby Plucky: "Hole in one!" (Giggles)
Mr. Duck: "Exactly! Now, it's your turn."
(Mr. Duck walks away as Baby Plucky sets down his golf ball)
Baby Plucky: "It's my turn!"
(The camera cuts to an opposing view of Baby Plucky as he prepares to hit his golf ball)
Baby Plucky: "I hit the blue ball down the hole! Mark, get set, go!"
(Baby Plucky hits his golf ball, but it doesn't get very far. Baby Plucky jumps for joy when he hits it, nonetheless, and Mr. Duck walks into view)
Baby Plucky: "I hit it! I hit the ball!"
Mr. Duck: "Good, son. Now, hit it again."
(The camera focuses on Baby Plucky as he walks up to his golf ball and hits it again. Once again, the ball doesn't get very far)
Baby Plucky: "I hit it again!"
(The camera cuts to an opposing view as Baby Plucky walks up to his golf ball and hits it again. The ball doesn't get very far that time, either)
Baby Plucky: "And again!"
(The camera focuses on Baby Plucky as he walks up to his golf ball and hits it again. It reaches the candy house)
Baby Plucky: "And again!"
(Baby Plucky turns around and points upwards)
Baby Plucky: "Daddy! Is helicopter!"
Mr. Duck: "Where?"
(Mr. Duck turns around, then the camera cuts to a view of the candy house as Baby Plucky picks up his golf ball and tosses it inside. It then cuts to an opposing view)
Baby Plucky: "I hit it again!"
(Baby Plucky walks to the other side of the candy house. The camera then cuts to a view of the slide, then zooms out, focusing on the ball as it rolls across the ground and Baby Plucky follows it. When the ball stops, Mr. Duck catches up to Baby Plucky and walks past him)
Baby Plucky: "Wanna hit the ball down the hole!
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Baby Plucky gently pushes the ball across the ground)
Mr. Duck: "No, no, no. You have to hit it harder, son."
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Baby Plucky as he hits the ball a little harder)
Mr. Duck (heard offscreen): "Harder."
(Baby Plucky hits the ball a little harder. The camera focuses on him as he moves up to the ball)
Mr. Duck (heard offscreen): "Harder still."
(Baby Plucky hits the ball again, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as he is about to hit the ball)
Mr. Duck: "No. Hit it really hard!
(Baby Plucky hits the ball as hard as he can, and inadvertently knocks Mr. Duck over in the process)
Baby Plucky: "I hit it hard! I hit it hard! I hit it hard!"
(The golf ball lands an inch from the hole. Baby Plucky picks it up and drops it in the hole)
Baby Plucky: "Hole in one!"
Mr. Duck: "Nice shot, son."
(Baby Plucky takes his ball out of the hole and walks away. The screen transitions to a view of Mr. Duck and Baby Plucky at the windmill. Baby Plucky is sucking his thumb while watching Mr. Duck about to putt)
Mr. Duck: "All right, Plucky, watch closely now!"
(Mr. Duck hits the ball. The camera cuts to a view of the ball rolling, focusing on it as it goes through the windmill and down the slide. Unfortunately, the ball stops a few inches from the hole, then the camera cuts back to Mr. Duck and Baby Plucky)
Mr. Duck: "Darn it, I missed! Okay, kiddo. Your turn."
(Baby Plucky stops sucking his thumb. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Mr. Duck walks away and Baby Plucky sets his golf ball down, preparing to hit it)
Baby Plucky: "Mark, get set, go!"
(Baby Plucky hits the ball, but it doesn't get very far. The camera cuts to an opposing view of him, focusing on him as he repeatedly hits the ball across the ground, until it reaches the windmill, where Mr. Duck is waiting)
Baby Plucky: "Darn it, I missed. Darn it, I missed. Darn it, I missed. Darn it, I missed. Darn it, I missed."
(Baby Plucky sucks his thumb, then points upwards)
Baby Plucky: "Look, Daddy, is blimp!"
Mr. Duck: "Where?"
(While Mr. Duck is distracted, Baby Plucky picks up his golf ball and tosses it into the windmill)
Baby Plucky: "I hit it again!"
(Baby Plucky giggles as he and Mr. Duck walk over to the other side of the windmill. The camera cuts to a view of a pirate ship and moves over to the slide on the other side of the windmill as Baby Plucky's golf ball slides down it. The ball stops a few inches from the hole and Baby Plucky and Mr. Duck walk over to the hole. Baby Plucky sucks his thumb as he looks into the hole)
Mr. Duck: "Now aim carefully, Plucky."
(Baby Plucky stops sucking his thumb and prepares to hit the ball)
Mr. Duck: "I hit it hard!"
(The camera cuts to a view of the back of Mr. Duck's legs, indicating if Baby Plucky hits the ball, he will also hit Mr. Duck in the groin. Baby Plucky is about to hit the ball, but Mr. Duck stops him)
Mr. Duck: "No! Stop!"
(Mr Duck walks behind Baby Plucky, then sighs)
Mr. Duck: "Okay, son, now hit it."
(Baby Plucky hits the ball. The camera cuts to a view of the ball, focusing on it as it flies into a pirate ship and bounces off it. The camera then cuts to a view of Mr. Duck's legs as the ball hits Mr. Duck in the groin, knocking him over. The camera then cuts to a view of Baby Plucky as Mr. Duck falls over, and the ball bounces off the ground and into the hole. Baby Plucky jumps for joy)
Baby Plucky: "Blue ball go down the hole! Blue ball go down the hole! Hole in one!"
(Baby Plucky takes his ball out of the hole and walks away)
Mr. Duck: "Congratulations, son! You're going to be an only child!"
(The screen transitions to the 14th hole. Baby Plucky and Mr. Duck walk up to it. Baby Plucky sucks his thumb, then the camera cuts to an opposing view as Mr. Duck sets his ball down and prepares to hit it)
Mr. Duck: "Now if you don't swing at just the right time, Plucky,"
(The camera cuts briefly to a view of the barrels hanging above the hole, then it cuts back to Mr. Duck and Baby Plucky)
Mr. Duck: "Those barrels will knock your ball away from the hole."
(Mr. Duck hits his ball, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view. The ball rolls towards the hole, but the barrels knock it away. The camera cuts back to Mr. Duck and Baby Plucky)
Mr. Duck: "See?"
(Baby Plucky sets his ball down)
Baby Plucky: "Yes, Sir."
(Baby Plucky sucks his thumb)
Mr. Duck: "Okay, you try.
(Baby Plucky stops sucking his thumb, and is about to hit the ball, but then he decides to trick Mr. Duck again and points upwards)
Baby Plucky: "Look, Daddy, rocket ship!"
(Mr. Duck laughs as Baby Plucky sucks his thumb)
Mr. Duck: "Oh no, I'm not falling for that again! Just hit the ball."
(Baby Plucky stops sucking his thumb)
Baby Plucky: "Yes, Sir. Mark, get set, go!"
(Baby Plucky hits the ball. The camera cuts to a view of it, focusing on it as it rolls across the ground and lands perfectly in the hole. The camera then cuts back to Mr. Duck and Baby Plucky as Mr. Duck pats Baby Plucky on the back)
Mr. Duck: "Plucky, you did it! A hole in one!"
Baby Plucky: "I did it! Hole in one! I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!"
(Baby Plucky dances, then giggles. He and Mr. Duck walk over to the hole, which the camera cuts to a view of)
Baby Plucky: "My blue ball go down the hole!"
(Baby Plucky holds the barrels steady and takes his ball out of the hole. Mr. Duck prepares to hit his ball)
Mr. Duck: "Nice job. Now it's my turn."
Baby Plucky: "Yes, Sir."
(Baby Plucky backs up as Mr. Duck hits the ball, which lands in the hole. As soon as the ball lands in the hole, Baby Plucky lets go of the barrels, which knock Mr. Duck away. Baby Plucky jumps for joy)
Baby Plucky: "Daddy!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Baby Plucky)
Baby Plucky: "You hit the ball down the hole! Hole in one! Daddy?"
(The camera moves over to the fountain, which Mr. Duck is laying in)
Mr. Duck: "I knew I should have entered the priesthood."
(The screen transitions to the 18th and final hole. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, then stops as Baby Plucky walks along the path)
Mr. Duck (heard offscreen): "All right, this is the last hole, Plucky. Thank heavens."
(The camera cuts to a view of the starting point as Baby Plucky sets his ball down and Mr. Duck, who is now on crutches, follows him)
Mr. Duck: "But on this hole, son,"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view)
Mr. Duck: "The ball doesn't come back."
Baby Plucky: "Ball no come back?"
Mr. Duck: "Nope, it doesn't come back. So, say 'bye-bye' to the nice ball."
(Baby Plucky picks up the ball)
Baby Plucky: "No bye-bye!"
(Mr. Duck pats Baby Plucky on the head)
Mr. Duck: "It's over, son. All done. We gotta go. So, say 'bye-bye'! Bye-bye, ball, bye-bye!"
(The camera cuts to a view of a sad Baby Plucky)
Baby Plucky: "Bye-bye, ball, my blue ball."
(Baby Plucky kisses the ball, then sighs)
Baby Plucky: "My blue ball go down the hole."
(The camera cuts to a view of Baby Plucky and Mr. Duck as Baby Plucky sets the ball down and prepares to hit it)
Baby Plucky: "Mark, get set, go."
(Baby Plucky hits the ball. The camera then cuts to an opposing view as the ball rolls into the hole. Mr. Duck sighs, and Baby Plucky has tears in his eyes.)
Mr. Duck: "Come on, Plucky, let's go home.
(Mr. Duck walks away, and just as Baby Plucky follows him, the pinball machine above the hole lights up. Baby Plucky stops and walks up to the pinball machine to see what's going on, then the camera cuts to a view of the bottom of the pinball machine. It then cuts to a view of Baby Plucky's ball, focusing on it as the pinball machine leads it to the top, lighting up a sign that says, GRAND PRIZE WINNER. The camera then cuts to a view of the loudspeaker as Baby Plucky turns around to hear)
Announcer: "Stop right there, because you are the winner of our super grand prize;"
(Mr. Duck walks into view)
Announcer: "One thousand free games of miniature golf!"
(Baby Plucky jumps for joy)
Baby Plucky: "I did it!"
Mr. Duck: "What?!"
Baby Plucky: "I did it! I did it!"
(Baby Plucky laughs. The camera cuts to an opposing view as the door beneath the pinball machine opens, releasing a thousand golf balls, which bury Baby Plucky and Mr. Duck. One of the golf balls is used as a transition as Baby Plucky's blue golf ball is at the top of the pile. The camera focuses on it as it rolls down the pile, landing at the bottom. Baby Plucky emerges from the pile and grabs it, then the camera cuts to a close-up of him)
Baby Plucky: "My blue ball came back!"
(The screen flashes forward to Plucky in his normal age in the present day)
Plucky: "Ahhh, those were the days."
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view, revealing Buster, Babs, and Hamton watching from a distance)
Babs: "Okay, Mr. Flashback, you're up. Sink this putt and you win the match!"
Plucky: "Oh, right."
(Plucky is about to hit his golf ball, then he stops. He has an idea)
Plucky: "Hey, look, guys! Isn't that Julia Roberts?"
(Buster, Babs, and Hamton turn around and run away. The camera zooms in on Plucky as he picks up his ball and places it in the hole. The camera then cuts to Buster, Babs, and Hamton, who now realize they've been tricked. They turn their heads angrily at Plucky as the camera moves back to him. He is pointing to the hole)
Plucky: "My ball go down the hole!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Plucky as he sucks his thumb. The cartoon irises out on him, ending Act One)
Act Two
(The second act begins with a view of the ocean. The camera moves over to Fifi's boat, The Calliope)
Fifi (narrating): "Le Sea, eet covairs the Earth like an ocean, and below eets surface, we are just visitours."
(The boat appears to sink under the waves, but then moves in closer to fill up the screen. It then moves offscreen.)
Fifi (narrating) "But visit we shall, here on, Le Undersea World De Fifi."
The Undersea World of Fifi Part 1
(Elmyra's end tag, "Let the show begin!" is used as an intro tag. After that, the title card, which has the silhouette of Elmyra in a diving suit chasing a monkey, is shown. The screen fades to black, then to a view of Fifi on the deck of the Calliope. As she is talking, Plucky and Hamton run over to the deck and throw up)
Fifi: "Here on board ze Calliope, our experianced crew prepares to investigate one of ze sea's great wondairs; Ze Mysterioos Sea Munkeys."
(The screen transitions to a view of an ancient hieroglyphic with a picture of sea monkeys carved into it)
Fifi (narrating): "The legend of the Sea Minkey ees not new, zair image was found in Egyptian hieroglyphics."
(The screen then transitions to a view of a manuscript, with a picture of sea monkeys. Above one of them is a box, with the words, "A long, long time ago, in a far-off watery land...")
Fifi (narrating): "Eet was recorded in medieval manuscripts..."
(The screen transitions to an ad in the back of a magazine for "The Amazing 'C' Monkeys," selling for 17.95.)
Fifi (narrating): "And zair legend continues in great contemporary literataire."
(The camera zooms out, revealing the front cover of the magazine says, HOG BABES IN MUD. Below the text are two female pigs, standing above the word, COLOR, which is written in different colors. Hamton is revealed to be reading the magazine)
Fifi (narrating): "And although we could by Sea Minkeys like anybody else,"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view. Hamton is sitting on a rope, next to a barrel that says, SEA MONKEY L FEED.)
Fifi (narrating): "We chose instead to spend millions of dollairs on a big boat to see zem for free."
(Fifi walks up to Hamton and snatches the magazine from him)
Fifi: "Bad boy!"
(The camera moves over to the left side of the screen as Fifi tosses the magazine overboard. It then moves back to Fifi)
Fifi (to the viewers): "Do not worry, eet's biodegradable."
(The camera then cuts to Plucky and Hamton tossing scuba gear at Elmyra, who is standing under a diving helmet held up by a claw)
Fifi (narrating): "To seairch for zese aquatic apes, zis dangairoos mission requires a most skilled and fearless divair."
(Plucky and Hamton run away as the claw lets go of the diving helmet and drops it on Elmyra, smashing her through the floor. The camera then cuts to a close-up of Elmyra)
Elmyra: "Ooh! I'm gonna look for cute, cuddly sea monkeys!"
(Fifi's hand appears onscreen and shuts the window of Elmyra's diving helmet)
Fifi (narrating): "Being stupeed doesn't help, either."
(the camera cuts to an underhead view of Elmyra, who is carrying various diving equipment, being lifted by the winch. It then cuts to a view of her feet as she looks down)
Fifi (narrating): "Once prepared, ze divair is lowered into ze sea, oh, so gently."
(The camera then cuts to a view of the winch as it moves Elmyra to the other side of the boat. It then focuses on her as she is lowered down forcefully, hitting the boat and losing her diving equipment, then to a view inside the ocean as a striped fish can be seen)
Fifi (narrating): "Inside ze ocean, ze divair becomes weightless."
(The fish looks in shock and screams. It then swims out of the way as Elmyra appears onscreen. The camera focuses on her as she falls down, screaming, and lands with a thud. It then cuts to a view of her laying on her back as the diving equipment she lost earlier lands on top of her. The screen transitions to Elmyra walking, carrying two harpoons in her right hand)
Fifi (narrating): "Ze divair becomes a quiet observair to the rhythms of undersea life."
(A small fish swims up to Elmyra, who looks at it with a happy look on her face. A bigger fish appears onscreen and eats the small fish, and an even bigger fish appears and eats the big fish. The camera zooms in as Elmyra stares in shock, then cuts to a view of the fish from inside her diving helmet)
Elmyra: "Look at you, Mr. Fish-head face!"
(The fish smiles, then turns around and swims away. The camera cuts to a view of the fish swimming away as Elmyra pounces at it, then hugs it. The camera then moves to the right side of the screen as the fish spits out the smaller fish, the smaller fish spits out the even smaller fish, and the even smaller fish spits out Elmyra for some unknown reason. Elmyra lands on her bottom, then the screen transitions to a view of a clamshell as Elmyra walks up to it, and picks it up. A fish witnesses her from the other side of the screen)
Fifi (narrating): "Everywhere, you cannot help but notice,"
(The camera cuts to a close-up of Elmyra as she opens the clamshell)
Fifi (narrating): "The beauty of Mothair Nature's handicraft, such as the fascinating Nautilus shell."
(The camera cuts to a view of several buff shrimp lifting weights inside the clamshell)
Elmyra: "Ooh, feel the burn!"
(The screen transitions to a view of an eel as it swims across the sea)
Fifi (narrating): "Zere is also ze electric eel."
(Elmyra pounces at the Eel and grabs it. The eel electrocutes her, then her head spins around, with her diving helmet acting like a lighthouse by shining a light as it spins and blowing a foghorn. Elmyra lets go of the Eel as a Hammerhead shark swims up to her, laughing as he hammers her into the ground)
Fifi (narrating): "And Le M.C. Hammairhead shark."
(The Hammerhead shark swims away)
Elmyra (dazed): "Too legit to quit!"
(The screen transitions to a sign that says, MALL SHOPS, with an arrow pointing a giant rock. Two fish swim above the rock as Elmyra walks up to it)
Fifi (narrating): "And now, ze search for ze Sea Minkeys begins, using sophisticated, high-technology methods."
(Elmyra lifts up the rock to look under it, and the two fish swimming above it swim out of the way as she does)
Elmyra: "Hello!"
(Elmyra moves out of the way of the rock as she lets go, and the two fish swim away)
Elmyra: "Come out, come out, wherever you are, sea monkey face!"
(The screen transitions to a view of some seaweed as Elmyra peeks out from it to look for Sea Monkeys)
Fifi (narrating): "Ze divair must seairch carefully, for ze undairsea ees not without perail."
(The camera moves over to a Sawfish)
Fifi (narrating): "Behold, ze Sawfish!"
(The Sawfish pushes his nose, then the camera focuses on him as he swims over to the seaweed and cuts it down. A Chainsawfish appears on the right side of the screen as the Sawfish leaves)
Fifi: "Not to mention ze Chainsaw fish."
(The camera cuts to a close-up of the Chainsawfish as he pulls on the handle on his nose. his teeth whir like a chainsaw, and he puts on a hockey mask as he swims offscreen. Seaweed can be seen onscreen as he cuts it down)
Elmyra (laughing): "That tickles!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Elmyra ducking as the seaweed around her has been chopped away)
Fifi (narrating): "Alzough ze divair is alone at ze bottom,"
(The screen transitions to a view of Fifi relaxing on the deck of the Calliope as Plucky fans her and Hamton feeds her grapes)
Fifi (narrating): "All of us partake in zis death-defying reesk."
Fifi (to the viewers): "I could choke on a grape!"
(The screen transitions to a view of a banana peel next to a clamshell, and a fish swimming over the clamshell. Elmyra walks up to the banana peel)
Fifi: "At last, we find ze fairst sign of ze Sea Minkey."
(The camera cuts to a close-up of the banana peel as Elmyra picks it up, then to a zoomed-out view as she holds it over the clamshell)
Fifi: "Zis evidance must be carefully collected and presairved."
(Elmyra sniffs the banana peel)
Elmyra: "Ewww!"
(Elmyra steps on the clamshell, opening it up like a trash can. She puts the banana peel inside. The camera then cuts to an underhead view of her as she suddenly hears a Sea Monkey chattering. She looks around)
Fifi (narrating): "Suddenly, out of nowhere,"
(The camera cuts to a view of a trench as a Sea Monkey swims into it)
Fifi (narrating): "Wesee our fairst Sea Minkey."
(The camera cuts to a side view of Elmyra)
Elmyra: "Hey, wait!"
(Elmyra runs offscreen. The camera then cuts back to the view of the trench as Elmyra runs into it)
Elmyra: "Come back here, Mr. Sea Monkey head!
(The screen is suddenly black. Elmyra's eyes appear onscreen)
Elmyra: "Oh, great. Just as I'm getting close, we have to do a stinky 'Eyeball in the dark' routine."
(Something hits Elmyra in the back of the head and she falls over)
Elmyra: "In a cave."
(Elmyra turns around, and sees another pair of eyes looking at her. She and the owner of the other pair of eyes scream. The second pair of eyes runs away, and she bumps into a wall. She groans, and a jellyfish swims up to her)
Elmyra: "Hey, did you see the Sea Monkey?"
(The jellyfish swims away. Three fish swim up to Elmyra to tease her)
Fish: "Elmyra lost a Sea Monkey! Elmyra lost a Sea Monkey!"
(Elmyra groans, and the fish swim away as she walks away. The camera cuts to a view of the other side of the trench as the Sea Monkey walks out and Elmyra chases it)
Fifi (narrating): "Finally, the creature emairges from the darkness."
(Elmyra screeches to a halt. The camera cuts to a view of her backside, then moves to reveal the Sea Monkeys' hideaway. There, Sea Monkeys can be seen playing in barrels, monkey bars, and there's even a Sea Monkey band playing the drums)
Fifi (narrating): "Leading our divair to, ze incredible hideaway of ze Sea Minkeys!"
(The camera cuts back to the previous view of Elmyra as she looks around)
Fifi (narrating): "Can she capture just one? Do you care?"
(The screen fades to black, ending Act Two)
Act Three/The Undersea World of Fifi Part 2
(The third act begins with a card that says, WE NOW RETURN TO THE UNDERSEA WORLD OF FIFI, which like the title card, has a silhoutte of Elmyra chasing a Sea Monkey)
Fifi (narrating): "And now we return to Ze Undersea World of Fifi."
(The screen fades to black, then to a view of Elmyra on the other side of the trench as she looks around)
Fifi (narrating): "Our divair beholds ze sight before her."
(The camera cuts to an opposing view, then moves across the hideaway of the Sea Monkeys)
Fifi (narrating): "Not wishing to scare zese delicate creatures, she calls to zem quietly."
(The camera cuts to a view of Elmyra behind a rock. She gasps, then runs toward the Sea Monkeys)
Elmyra: "Look at all the cuddly monkey-heads!"
(The camera cuts to an opposing view as the Sea Monkeys run away from Elmyra, screeching as they do. Elmyra turns around)
Elmyra: "Don't the Monkey-wonkeys wanna play?"
(The camera cuts to a view of a sign that says, BARREL OF MONKEYS. Elmyra dives into view, and the camera focuses on her. She stops near a pile of barrels, which all have a Sea Monkey in them)
Fifi (narrating): "Our divair goes forward into one of ze many puns on ze word, 'Minkey', zat await her."
(The Sea Monkeys duck into the barrels as Elmyra jumps into one. Elmyra and the Sea Monkeys all poke their heads out)
Fifi (narrating): "Ze barrel of Minkeys."
(The Sea Monkeys duck as Elmyra jumps out of the barrel she's in and into the barrel next to her. The Sea Monkeys and Elmyra then poke their heads out of the barrels, then the Sea Monkeys Duck as Elmyra jumps out of the second barrel and back into the first one. The Sea Monkeys poke their heads out again and chatter as Elmyra pokes her head out. They duck back into the barrels as Elmyra jumps from the first barrel and into the third. Elmyra then pokes her head out as three Sea Monkeys are sitting atop it. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Elmyra as she turns her head to her left side, then back facing the camera. She then looks up and sees the three Sea Monkeys sitting atop her head)
Elmyra: "Oooh!"
(The camera cuts back to the previous view as the Sea Monkeys run away)
Elmyra: "I'm gonna make you mine, all mine!"
(Elmyra runs to the right side of the screen. The camera then cuts to a view of one of the Sea Monkeys, focusing on it as it swims away from Elmyra. When it swims offscreen, Elmyra swims onscreen, and the camera focuses on her. When swims offscreen, the camera cuts to a view of an open clamshell. The Sea Monkey swims inside it and closes its mouth. Elmyra then swims up to the clamshell, but when she opens it, a piranha is inside. Elmyra screams and closes the clamshell, then turns around, groaning. The screen then transitions to a view of a ledge as Elmyra walks up it, then the camera focuses on her as she walks past a mirror. When she walks past the mirror, a Sea Monkey is revealed to be in the mirror's reflection. Elmyra makes poses in the mirror, and the Sea Monkey follows her every pose)
Elmyra: "Hey, Sea Monkey! You can't fool me! Blah! Pretty ballerina!"
(Elmyra looks under the mirror, to see if there's a Sea Monkey on the other side)
Elmyra: "Hey, come out of there!"
(The Sea Monkey is revealed to have been on top of the mirror the whole time. The camera then cuts to a close-up of him as he looks at it with a toothy grin and chatters. It then cuts back to Elmyra turns around and scratches her head with a confused look on her face as the Sea Monkey ducks behind the mirror)
Elmyra: "Hmmm...."
(Elmyra walks away. The screen transitions to a view of her on a ledge as she looks over at the Monkey Bars, with a single Sea Monkey inside. The camera then cuts to a view of her looking around for the Sea Monkey)
Fifi (narrating): "Here, our divair discovers anozer pun,"
(Elmyra swims towards the Sea Monkey, then the camera cuts to a view of the Sea Monkey inside the Monkey Bars)
Fifi (narrating): "Ze Minkey Bars."
(The Sea Monkey swings on the Monkey Bars, until Elmyra lands next to him and looks at him. The Sea Monkey gasps and tries to back away from her)
Elmyra: "Monkey-wonkey!"
(The camera cuts to an opposing view inside the Monkey Bars as Elmyra tries to grab the Sea Monkey, but with no success. The Sea Monkey chatters in fear as Elmyra tries to catch him)
Elmyra: "I, you come here! Uh, I got, ooh, goodness, Monkey!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in opposing view of the frightened Sea Monkey as he continues to dodge Elmyra)
Elmyra: "Ooh, I got, come on, you monkey! Oooh!"
(The camera cuts to an opposing view as Elmyra suddenly gets an idea)
Elmyra: "I know!"
(Elmyra turns around and walks away. She turns around, then the camera cuts to a view of her backside, focusing on her as she charges into the Monkey Bars just as the Sea Monkey swims out. She grunts as the Monkey Bars bounce her around. She then stands up and stares as the screen fades to black. The screen then fades to a view of the Sea Floor as Elmyra walks like an Egyptian across the screen)
Elmyra: "Walk like an egyptian."
(Elmyra laughs, then the camera cuts to a view of some seaweed as she pokes her head out. The camera then cuts to a view of some Sea Monkeys riding on a spinning Octopus' tentacles and zooms out on them. The Sea Monkeys chatter happily as they ride on the spinning Octopus' tentacles)
Fifi (narrating): "Our divair discovers several Minkeys, happily divairted."
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of the Sea Monkeys riding on the Octopus' tentacles, then moves to the left side of the screen as Elmyra looks at them from the seaweed. Elmyra ducks back into the seaweed, then the camera cuts to a view of her as she pulls out a bag from her diving suit. She then pulls out a net, then turns around. The camera then cuts to a view outside the seaweed as the Sea Monkeys continue riding on the Octopus' tentacles)
Fifi (narrating): "She uses zis oppairtunity to capture ze incedible creataires."
(Elmyra holds up her net and catches one of the Sea Monkeys with it. The camera then cuts to a view of her as she puts the Sea Monkey into the bag and closes it. She then turns around)
Fifi (narrating): "Not just one,"
(The camera then cuts to a close-up of the Octopus' tentacles, with the Sea Monkeys still riding on them. Elmyra catches another Sea Monkey with her net)
Fifi (narrating): "But two!"
(The camera cuts back to Elmyra, who puts the second Sea Monkey into the bag and closes it. The two Sea Monkeys then try to move the bag away from her, but she grabs hold of its strap)
Fifi (narrating): "Ah, but ze creatures will not go quietly."
(The Sea Monkeys begin to use the bag to pull Elmyra all over the sea. The camera cuts to an overhead view of the hideaway, focusing on the Sea Monkeys as they pull Elmyra across the sea)
Elmyra: "Whoo! Who-o-o-o-o-oa! Whoo!"
(The camera then cuts to a view of the Sea Monkeys pulling Elmyra down, focusing on them as they continue trying to swim away from Elmyra, but to no avail)
Elmyra: "Who-o-o-o-o-oa!"
(The camera then cuts to a view of the Sea as the Sea Monkeys continue pulling Elmyra. When Elmyra's face is shown close-up, the camera focuses on it, then cuts to a zoomed-out view of the Sea Monkeys pulling Elmyra, focusing on them the entire time)
Elmyra: "Slow down, Monkey-heads! Slow down!"
(The Sea Monkeys then pull Elmyra offscreen. The camera cuts to a view of Elmyra's backside, focusing on the Sea Monkeys as they continue to pull Elmyra, crashing through some coral. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view of the Sea Monkeys and Elmyra, zooming out to reveal a giant Monkey Wrench as the Sea Monkeys and Elmyra get closer to it)
Fifi: "And Zen ze creatures use their tools,"
(The camera cuts to an overhead view of the Monkey wrench as the Sea Monkeys swim through it and Elmyra gets caught in it)
Fifi (narrating): "Ze Minkey Wrench."
(The Sea Monkeys escape from Elmyra's grip and Elmyra is launched back. The camera then cuts to a view of her as she lands on her bottom)
Elmyra: "Oof!"
(The camera cuts to a view of a frightened Sea Monkey up against a wall)
Fifi (narrating): "But one did not get away."
(Elmyra walks up to the Sea Monkey. the camera then cuts to an opposing view of her)
Elmyra: "Awww, lookie at you!"
(The camera cuts back to the Sea Monkey as a swordfish swims up to him. The Sea Monkey grabs the swordfish, and the camera cuts back to Elmyra)
Elmyra: "Oooh! Monkey wants to play sword fight! Fun!"
(Elmyra spins in a manner similar to that of Taz the Tasmanian Devil. She spins offscreen, then comes back with a swordfish of her own. She jumps offscreen, then the camera cuts to a view of Elmyra and the Sea Monkey battling each other with swordfish. Elmyra giggles, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view, focusing on Elmyra and the Sea Monkey as they battle each other across the sea floor. Eventually, they reach a staircase, which the Sea Monkey runs up. Elmyra chases him, then the camera cuts to a side view of the staircase as they continue battling each other, followed by an overhead view. It then cuts to a view of Elmyra's backside as the Sea Monkey loses his balance and falls off the staircase, screeching. The camera then cuts to a side view of the stairs as Elmyra looks at the Sea Monkey)
Elmyra: "I wanna jump, too!"
(Elmyra jumps off the stairs, and the camera focuses on her as she falls, landing on the ocean floor. The Sea Monkey runs offscreen, and Elmyra chases him. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out overhead view as Elmyra chases the Sea Monkey, with her diving hose marking where she's been)
Elmyra: "Look at the pretty patterns we're making!"
(The camera cuts to a view of the exhausted Sea Monkey as he pants, then falls over. Elmyra walks up to him, then the camera cuts to a close-up of the horrified Sea Monkey)
Elmyra: "Now you're mine, Mr. Sea Monkey!"
(The camera cuts back to the previous view, then to an opposing view of Elmyra as she is stopped by the hose from her diving suit. She turns around and grunts as she pulls on the hose. The camera then cuts to a view of the bow of the Calliope as it is pulled forward, then to a view of Fifi, Plucky, and Hamton playing a game of shuffleboard on the deck of the Calliope. The camera zooms in and out and the three gasp as the ship is pulled, then the camera cuts back to Elmyra, who pulls on the hose, then stops)
Elmyra: "I'm gonna love you to pieces, Mr. Aqua ape!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Elmyra's back side as she grunts and tries to catch the Sea Monkey, but is held back by the hose. The Sea Monkey swims away, then the camera cuts back to the opposing view of her, followed by the deck of the Calliope as she pulls it. It then cuts to an overhead view of the sea as the Calliope is pulled, then to a zoomed-in overhead view of the Calliope's deck as Plucky and Hamton are being bounced around like pinballs. They even make dinging noises as they bounce around. The camera then cuts back to Elmyra, focusing on her as she chases the Sea Monkey through a tunnel, then it cuts to the bow of the Calliope as dives into the ocean. The camera then cuts to a view under the ocean, focusing on the Calliope as it goes through the tunnel. It then cuts to Elmyra, who stops, and looks around, then to a view above the sea as the Calliope resurfaces, followed by a close-up of the mast as Plucky and Hamton hang on. Plucky sighs, then the camera cuts to a view of Elmyra's backside. The Sea Monkey pokes its head out from behind a rock, and Elmyra points to him)
Elmyra: "There you are!"
(The monkey screams in fear and runs away. Elmyra chases after him, then the camera cuts to a view of a soaked Plucky, Hamton, and Fifi on the deck of the calliope. Plucky wrings out his tank top, then the Calliope suddenly moves forward. The camera then cuts to a view of the stern of the Calliope, with a sign that says, ACME TUBS on it as the ship moves. Plucky picks up the anchor and drops it in the water)
Plucky: "Drop the anchor!"
(The anchor falls into the water, then the camera cuts to a view of the map as an X, indicating where the Calliope is, moves across it, leaving a dotted line. It bumps into several continents, then the camera focuses on it as it moves between North and South America. The camera then cuts to a view of the side of the Calliope as Plucky and Hamton carry more anchors and toss them into the water, grunting as they do. When they toss a giant chained anchor into the water, the camera cuts to a view under the water as the Calliope pulls the anchor. The Anchor latches onto a piece of sunken land, then the camera cuts to an overhead view of the Earth as the Calliope's anchor pulls the continents together to form what once was Pangea. It then cuts to Elmyra just as it looks like she is about to catch the Sea Monkey, but she is held back by the hose and the anchor, and the Sea Monkey escapes. She lands on her bottom)
Elmyra: "Ugh!"
(The camera cuts to a close-up of Elmyra)
Elmyra: "Oh! The Sea Monkey-Wonkey went away!"
(The screen transitions to a view of an exhausted Fifi laying on the deck of the Calliope. A fish is flopping on the deck, and she pulls a starfish covering her eyes up)
Fifi (exhausted): "Alzough ze Sea Minkey has eluded our grasp, ozer theengs are always deescovaired in Le Undersea World De Fifi."
(The camera cuts back to Elmyra, as she looks down at a drain plug)
Elmyra: "Hey! What's this?"
(The camera cuts to a close-up of the drain plug as Elmyra pulls it. The water begins draining, then the camera cuts to an overhead view of the hole as the water, Elmyra, and the Sea Creatures are drained into it)
Elmyra: "Who-o-o-o-o-oa!"
(The Calliope gets drained into the hole. The camera cuts to a view above the ocean as the water drains from it)
Elmyra (heard offscreen): "Oooh, ocean go down the hole!"
(The camera cuts to a view of the Earth as it drains into the universe)
Elmyra: "Planet go down the hole! Universe go down the hole!
(The universe drains into a black screen, which Elmyra then crosses, dragging a Sea Monkey)
Elmyra: "At least I got my Monkey-Wonkey!"
(The credits roll)