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Life in the 90's/Transcript

Act One

(The episode begins with a view of a dark alley. Buster walks in, dressed in a black leather jacket, and the camera focuses on him)

Buster: "Hiya, Toonsters. Welcome to the 90's! You know, one of the hazards of being a 90's trendsetter is that, sooner or later, everyone is gonna copy your style. Chill, man!"

(Plucky walks in, dressed in a black leather jacket. He stands next to Buster)

Plucky: "Chill, man!"

(Hamton walks in, dressed in a black leather jacket. He stands next to Plucky)

Hamton: "Chill, man!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Buster, who is holding a carrot in his right hand)

Buster: "Pathetic, isn't it? Mindless clones following the crowd because they think it's hip and trendy." (As the camera zooms out on him) "I don't do things just because everyone thinks it's cool," (As the camera cuts to a close-up of his face) "I'm an individual!"

(The camera moves to the upper-left corner of the screen, until it reaches Bugs Bunny's face. Like Buster, Bugs is holding a carrot in his right hand. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of them standing next to each other and chomping their carrots, then the screen fades to black)

Whining Out

(The title card is shown, which has the title on a fancy placemat, with a wine glass underneath. The screen fades to black, then to the next scene, which takes place on the streets. The camera moves to the right side of the screen as a crowd of people is waiting in line at a fancy restaurant called Attitude. A car drives by and is used as a transition to the next scene, which gives a closer view of the people in the crowd. The camera moves to the left side of the screen, then cuts to a view of some people's feet and continues moving to the left side of the screen until it reaches Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton. Hamton is dressed in a tuxedo)

Plucky (as he pulls out an autograph book) This place is packed with celebrities,"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Plucky)

Plucky: "I'll add to my autograph collection!"

(Plucky nuzzles the autograph book, then kisses it, and pulls it away from his beak. The camera cuts to a view of a rather irritated Buster)

Buster: "This is ridiculous. We've been waiting in line for an hour to have dinner." (As he and the camera move over to Babs) "Why don't we just go to Weenie Burger like we always do?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Hamton)

Hamton: "But Buster, this is the most exclusive restaurant in Acme Acres! I've been dying to eat here!"

(The camera moves over to Buster, whose stomach is growling furiously)

Buster: "You probably will die, of starvation."

(The camera cuts to a view of Babs and a rather starstruck Plucky. People's legs can be seen walking past them)

Babs: "Gee, I haven't seen this many people since the President came to Acme Acres."

Plucky (as he stares to his right side): "Hey, lookie-lookie!"

(The camera cuts to a view of a limousine as it stops. It then cuts to a zoomed-out view of it as several bodyguards exit it, then to a side view as the President (resembling Abraham Lincoln) exits it, and focuses on him as he walks out. People cheer and applaud, then the camera cuts to a view of his head as he waves to the people)

Babs: "I guess everyone's gotta eat."

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster)

Buster: "I'm gonna get us some chow."

(The camera zooms out on Buster, then cuts to a view of the people as he steps out in front of them and points to his right side)

Buster: "Hey! I wonder whose beamer is on fire in the parking lot!"

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of the people as they scramble, then to a view of Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton as they all spin as the people run past them. When they stop spinning, the camera zooms in on Buster)

Buster: "I guess we're next."

(The screen transitions to a view of a big-nosed Maitre'D, and the camera zooms in on him)

Maitre'D: "Welcome to Attitude. Name?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton)

Buster: "Dropper."

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton, and moves over to the Maitre'D."

Maitre'D: "Name?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster by himself)

Buster: "Calling!"

Maitre'D (as he presses his face up against Buster's): "Name?"

Buster (as he smacks the Maitre'D's nose): "Rank, serial number, but that's all I'm giving you!"

(Buster turns around. The camera cuts to an overhead view of his backside as Hamton runs in)

Hamton: "The reservation is under 'Hamton', with an 'H'."

(The camera cuts to a view of the Maitre'D as he flips through his book)

Maitre'D: "I've got no record of your name, what a shame."

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of Hamton)

Hamton: "But I made the reservation two years ago!"

(The camera cuts to an opposing view and zooms in on the Maitre'D)

Maitre'D: "It takes three years to get into Attitude!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Hamton, who gives a shocked expression. It then cuts to a view of the Maitre'D as a customer walks up to him, then it moves downwards, revealing the customer to be bribing the Maitre'D. The camera then cuts to a view of the Maitre'D as he puts the money in his coat pocket and the Customer and his Wife walk away, then to an overhead view of Buster, who is standing next to a potted plant)

Buster: "So, that's how you play the game."

(Buster pulls a leaf off the potted plant and stuffs it in his shirt pocket. The camera focuses on him as he runs up to the Maitre'D and tugs on his pants)

Buster: "How bout' one more look, old buddy, old pal?"

(The Maitre'D lowers his left hand and Buster hands him the leaf. The camera then cuts to a view of the Maitre'D as he puts the leaf into his coat pocket)

Maitre'D: "Oh, Mr. 'Humpton', a table has just opened up. Walk this way."

(The camera focuses on the Maitre'D as he walks away. It then cuts to a view of his backside as he puts a napkin over his left arm and continues walking away, then to a view of him walking fancily, and Buster Babs, Hamton, and Plucky follow him, imitating his fancy walk. The camera focuses on them as they walk across the restaurant, until they reach a doorway. It then cuts to a view of Hamton and Plucky)

Hamton: "This is where they create their world-famous cuisine."

(The camera cuts to a view of the kitchen, focusing on the Maitre'D, Buster, Babs, Hamton, and Plucky as they walk past a Chef, who is pouring a can of Dog Food onto a gravy boat, and another Chef, who is fiddling with the stove. Buster gives a shocked expression on his face, then the camera cuts to a view of the Maitre'D in front of door with a sign that says, TOONS)

Maitre'D: "This way, please."

(The Maitre'D walks away, then the camera moves to the right side of the screen, past a door with a sign that says, TOONETTES. It then cuts to a view of Hamton and Plucky)

Hamton: "We must be going to the real exclusive section."

(The camera cuts to a view of the doorway as The Maitre'D shows them a table outside the restaurant)

Maitre'D: "Have a seat."

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton, as they run out. It then cuts to a view of them sitting at the table outside)

Maitre'D: "Someone will be with you in a moment,"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of the Maitre'D's face)

Maitre'D: "If you're lucky."

(The camera cuts back to the previous view as the Maitre'D slams the door. It then cuts to a view of Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton, who are sitting at the table, and focuses on Plucky. Buster has a single slice of bread on his plate)

Plucky: "I'll bet this is a table where all the celebrities sit; quiet, private,"

(A rat crawls in and snatches Buster's slice of bread)

Buster: "Rat-infested."

(The camera cuts to a view of the door as it opens. It then moves to the right side of the screen, where Hamton is)

Hamton: "Oh, look! This must be the waiter with our appetizer."

(The camera cuts to a view of a Chef holding a garbage bag. It zooms out on him as he tosses the garbage bag, then cuts to an overhead view of Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton as the garbage from the bag lands on top of them. A cloud of brown dust appears, and when it clears, the camera moves over to Hamton, who emerges from the rubble with a pie plate and several bacon strips on his head)

Hamton: "I wanted this to be a perfect evening."

(Plucky appears with a dog food can on his head)

Plucky (sarcastically): "Perfectly divine."

Babs (heard offscreen): "Don't worry, Hamton."

(The camera moves over to the left side of the screen, until it reaches Babs, who has tomato slices covering her eyes)

Babs: "You made reservations, and we're going to eat here!"

Buster (heard offscreen in a muffled voice)':" Yeah!"

(The camera moves over to the right side of the screen, until it reaches Buster, whose head is trapped in a bottle)

Buster (muffled voice): "Those stuck-up dweebs can't treat us like garbage!"

(Plucky moves over to Buster)

Plucky: "Even though we look the part."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view)

Buster (Muffled voice): "Come on, everyone! Heave…"

(Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton duck into the rubble)

Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton: "Ho!"

(Buster, Babs, Plucky and Hamton push the rubble off the tablecloth. Babs points to the left side of the screen, and the camera focuses on her, Buster, Plucky, and Hamton as they walk the tablecloth into the kitchen. It then cuts to a view inside the kitchen, where a Chef is trying to put a live Cat into a pot. The Cat screams in fear as the Chef tries to put him in the pot, but he holds back as Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton walk in. The camera cuts to a view of the Chef's backside and zooms in on in at Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton get closer, until they bump into the Chef. A cloud of brown dust appears, and when it clears, the previous view is shown with the Chef's head in the pot, which he tries to pull out. Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton walk away, and when the Chef pulls his head out, the Cat is revealed to be in his mouth. The cat runs out, then the camera cuts to a view inside the restaurant as a waiter is pouring a glass of water for a customer. Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton push the doors open, pushing the waiter over to the customer and causing him to pour water on her head. They walk past him, then the camera cuts to a view of them as they walk into another waiter, who is carrying a tray. They cause him to spill the contents of the tray, including a turkey dinner, a bottle of wine, and a wine glass. The camera then cuts to an overhead view of the restaurant as Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton bump into other tables, which make dinging sounds like a pinball machine, then to a view of two tables as they stop their table in between them and push them aside. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-in view of the tablecloth as Babs pulls the tablecloth over her and Buster)

Babs: "How about this, guys?"

Buster: "Hey! I like it, Babs!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the table as Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton emerge from under it. A waiter walks past them)

Hamton: "Excuse me, uh, waiter?" (As another waiter walks past them) "Please, uh, waiter? Oh, excuse me, waiter? Please!"

(The camera zooms out on Hamton as the third Waiter passes by. It then cuts to a view of Buster, who is sitting on the left side of the screen)

Buster: "Desparate rabbits must take desperate measures."

(Buster sticks out his left foot as a waiter approaches him. The camera then cuts to a view of the Waiter as he falls over)

Buster: "Grab him!"

(Buster, Babs, and Plucky pounce the waiter and tie him up in ropes, chains, and locks. They then carry him away. The camera cuts to a view of Babs and Hamton sitting at their table as Buster and Plucky set the Waiter down next to them)

Babs: "We'd like to see some menus, please."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of the Waiter as he pulls his nose out and uses it to pull a menu out from his coat pocket. It then cuts to a view of Buster as he hands the menu to him, then zooms in on Buster as he reads over the menu)

Buster: "Mesquite grilled fadicio, Goat cheese sashimi? Is this food?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Hamton and zooms out on him)

Hamton: "I'm not sure, but it sounds tasty."

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky)

Plucky: "Maybe the waiter can translate this. Whoops!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the locks and ropes and zooms in on them, revealing the Waiter has escaped)

Plucky: "He's escaped!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Babs)

Babs: "I think we'll need a little celebrity pull to get some decent service around here!"

(Babs ducks under the table, then jumps out. The camera cuts to a view of Buster, Plucky, and Hamton as Babs, who is now dressed like Cher, lands on the table, then zooms in on her. It then cuts to a view of Buster)

Buster: "Let me guess." (Snaps fingers) "Barbara Bush?"

(The camera cuts back to Babs)

Babs (imitating Cher): "Oh, if you see a waiter, tell him he's got me, Babe."

(The camera cuts to a view of a waiter, who is carrying a tray with a bottle of wine. He turns around and looks at Babs dressed like Cher. Several other waiters appear and join him)

Waiter #1: "Cher?"

Waiter #2 "Cher?"

Waiter #3: "Cher?"

Waiter #4: "Cher?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton as the many Waiters pile over Cher. It then cuts to a zoomed-in view of Babs as the Waiters woo over her)

Babs: "We'll have everything with carrots in it, Babe!"

(The waiters run away. Babs grins, then the camera cuts to a view of her, Hamton, Plucky, and Buster as she sits down next to them. The waiters give them each a plate, then the camera cuts to a view of one of the plates with a tiny speck on it. Plucky and Buster run up to the plate and Plucky puts a scope over his eye to look over the speck)

Plucky: "Hey, there's a spot on this plate!"

Buster: "That's the main course, Plucky."

(Plucky drops the plate, which falls to the floor and breaks. The scope falls off his eye as he stares in shock. The camera then cuts to a view of Hamton, who uses a pair of tweezers to pick up the speck on his plate, then it cuts to a view of the speck on the plate, revealing it to be a stale piece of cheese in gravy. The camera cuts back to Hamton, then to an overhead view of him. His chair tuns into a spotlight as the camera zooms out on him and people walk past him)

Hamton: "Look at me, I've let my best friends be ignored,"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Hamton as a customer literally walks over him. Hamton then pulls out his plate with a tiny, stale piece of cheese in gravy on it)

Hamton: "Sneered at, and pushed around for a lump of stale cheese in gravy!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of the plate as a Mouse appears and takes the piece of stale cheese away. It then cuts to a view of Hamton sitting next to Plucky as he punches his head)

Hamton: "Where's the manager?!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky with a plate in his mouth, then to a view of Hamton, who is waving his fists in the air furiously)

Hamton: "Get him out here now!"

(Buster and Plucky reach from offscreen and pull Hamton back. The camera cuts to a view of all three of them. Hamton, who is tied up in a rope, is standing in between Buster and Plucky.

Buster: "Sheesh, Hamton. Rope it in, bud."

Hamton: "Kill!"

(Buster and Plucky run away. Buster then reaches from offscreen, holding an apple, which he stuffs in Hamton's mouth. The Maitre'D then hands Hamton his bill from offscreen)

Maitre'D (heard offscreen): "Your bill, Sir."

(Hamton looks over the bill, the camera cuts to a view of the bill, which says, LE BILL. There are three costs on the bill, the first of which is worth $10,000.00, the second of which is worth $200,000.00, and the third of which, is worth $50,000.00. The total comes to EVERYTHING YOU OWN AND FIRST BORN. The camera zooms in on the bill, then cuts back to Hamton, who furiously chomps on the apple. It then zooms out on him as he growls furiously. Buster walks in, with apple pieces covering his left eye, and he silences Hamton with his right hand and signs the bill with his right. The camera then rushes to the left side of the screen, where Babs, dressed like Cher is)

Babs: "We've gotta get out of here."

Buster (as he walks up to Babs and whispers to her): "I've got an idea."

(Buster points behind him and runs away. The camera cuts to a view of Plucky and Hamton as Buster runs up to them)

Buster (Whispering): "Head for the door."

(The camera cuts to a view of Babs as she emerges from the table. It zooms out on her as she sings)

Babs (singing like Cher): "They say we're young, and don't have a clue. but we're leaving here, so toodle-oo!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the restaurant as Buster, Plucky, and Hamton pull the table away with Babs standing atop it)

Buster, Plucky, and Hamton (singing): "Go, gotta go now!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Babs, who continues singing)

Babs (singing like Cher): "They say we're poor, and can't pay the bill, I say we still got bellies to fill."

(The camera cuts to a view of the Maitre'D, who is standing next to the exit as Buster, Plucky, and Hamton pull their table towards him)

Buster, Plucky, and Hamton (singing): "Go, gotta go now!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster as he backs into the Maitre'D)

Buster (singing): "Aloha, sayonara!"

(The Maitre'D ducks his head towards Buster. The camera cuts back to the previous view as Buster, Plucky, and Hamton push the table out the doors, which flattens the Maitre'D. They leave the bill behind as it floats down towards the flattened Maitre'D, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of the Maitre'D as the bill lands on him)

Maitre'D: "What trashy, untrendy lowlifes. That is the last time we allow Mr., eh…"

(The Maitre'D picks up the bill. The camera cuts to a view of the bill, revealing that Buster signed Montana Max's name and used Monty's student I.D. to pay it)

Maitre'D: "Montana Max in here."

(The camera cuts to a view outside Attitude, focusing on Buster, Babs, Plucky, and Hamton as Buster, Plucky, and Hamton continue pushing the table. The screen then transitions to a view outside Weenie Burger, where many cars are parked)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Ah, real food at last!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky and Hamton inside Weenie Burger. Hamton is eating a burger and Plucky is drinking a soda)

Hamton: "And to think we go anywhere else!"

(The camera moves over to the right side of the screen, where Buster and Babs are each eating a burger)

Babs: "Hamton, don't you know? Anyone who's anyone eats at Weenie Burger!"

(Babs giggles. The camera cuts to a view of Plucky as he points to the right side of the screen)

Plucky: "Lookie lookie!"

(The camera rushes over to the right side of the screen, where The President is about to eat a really tall Burger. It cuts to a zoomed-in view of him eating the burger, focusing on the burger as Buster talks)

Buster (heard offscreen): "It just goes to show, when it comes to real food, everyone has the same… attitude."

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster, who is holding a burger in his right hand)

Buster: "Chow down!"

(Buster shoves the burger in his mouth. The screen irises out on him, ending Act One)

Act Two/Paper Trained

(The title card is shown, which shows the title above the silhouette of Buster's right hand holding a rolled-up newspaper on the right side of the screen and the silhouette of an excited dog on the left. The screen fades to black, then to a view of the back of Buster's head as he is reading a newspaper. He turns around to face the viewers, then backs, up, revealing he is wearing a pouch full of newspapers that says, ACME ACRES NEWS in red letters. He rolls up the newspaper and is now holding it in his left hand)

Buster (to the viewers): "Even in the 90's, a trendy rabbit, like yours truly, needs to make some extra carrot money." (as he puts the newspaper in the pouch with the rest) "So, with his trusty pouch filled to the brim, Acme Acres' newest paper boy takes to the streets!"

(Buster tosses his pouch towards the right side of the screen. He grunts, then the camera cuts to a view of the pouch as it pulls Buster. The pouch then moves to the left side of the screen, pulling Buster along with it. The camera then cuts to a view of a blue bicycle with a white seat as Buster flies into it, then pushes it offscreen. It then cuts to a view of the bicycle, focusing on it as Buster tries to control it)

Buster: "Whoa! Whoa! Steady, boy! Whoa, there, take it easy! Whoa!"

(Buster drives the bike offscreen. The screen transitions to an opposing view of Buster, focusing on him as he drives the bike across the road, ringing its bell)

Buster (singing): "They call me the paper boy, I wake up every dawn," (as he rings the bell and tosses two newspapers with his left hand, one going to the right side of the screen, and another to the left) "To fold away the news of the day, and throw it on their lawn."

(Buster rings the bell. The camera cuts to a view of a window and zooms in on it as the newspaper crashes through it. It then cuts back to Buster and zooms in on him as he continues singing)

Buster (singing): "I throw papers by the score, each with a flick of the wrist," (Buster rings the bell and tosses two papers towards the right side of the screen with his right hand. The camera cuts to a view of two more windows as the papers fly through them. It then cuts back to Buster as he uses his left and right hands to toss two papers to their respective sides of the screen)

Buster (singing): "To read today, then throw them away, to wrap tomorrow's fist!"

(Buster rings the bell. The camera cuts to a view outside Dizzy Devil's cave. Dizzy walks out and yawns. A newspaper flies into his mouth, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view as Dizzy swallows the paper)

Dizzy: "Mmmm. Sports section. My favorite."

(Dizzy runs to the left side of the screen. The camera zooms in, then cuts to a side view of Buster as he tosses another paper with his right hand. It then cuts to a view of Hamton in front of a mud puddle as he tries to catch the paper, but Dizzy pushes him into the mud and eats the paper. The camera zooms in on Dizzy as he gulps, then licks his lips. It then cuts to a view of Elmyra outside her house as she tries to catch the paper, but Dizzy pushes her out of the way and eats the paper. He then flies away as the camera zooms in on a confused Elmyra. The camera then cuts to a view of Plucky standing in front of his pond as he tries to catch the paper, but Dizzy jumps in and eats that one as well. The camera zooms out as Dizzy licks his lips. An annoyed Plucky then opens Dizzy's mouth, reaches inside, and pulls out the paper with his left hand. Plucky walks away, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of him as he stops, then looks to his backside. He puts the paper in his mouth and swallows it himself, then licks his lips, and looks at the camera with satisfaction. The camera zooms in on him as he hiccups. It then cuts to a view of Buster riding the bicycle. He is now being chased by a barking bulldog. The camera then cuts to a view of Buster's head as he suddenly realizes a bulldog is on his tail. He turns around and stares in shock, then drives away. The camera then cuts to a view of a hill and zooms in as the Bulldog continues chasing Buster. It then cuts to a view of a covered bridge as Buster goes inside, with the bulldog following him, then moves to the right side of the screen, where the other end it. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-in view as the Bulldog is now driving the bicycle and wearing the pouch. Buster, acting like a dog, follows him. The camera then cuts to a view of some pipes. The Bulldog drives the bike into one of them, and Buster, still acting like a dog, chases after him. It moves to the right side of the screen, where the other end of the pipe is. Buster comes out of the pipe, now driving the bicycle again. The Bulldog is now sitting on the handlebars, and Buster stares in shock at him. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of the Bulldog as it growls fiercely at Buster. It then cuts to an opposing view as Buster laughs nervously, with a toothy grin. It then cuts to a side view of Buster on the bicycle as the Bulldog continues growling at him, followed by a view of Buster's right foot, zooming in on it as it pulls out a bolt. The camera then cuts back to the previous view as Buster points at the Bulldog with his right hand, and the Bulldog rolls away from him and stares in shock. It then cuts to a zoomed-in view of Buster)

Buster: "Have a nice ride, Clyde!"

(The camera cuts to a view of a hill as the Bulldog rides the detached front of the bicyle down it. It then cuts to an opposing view of the hill, followed by a zoomed-in view of the Bulldog as it screams and stares in shock of the brick wall he's about to hit. The camera then cuts to an opposing view of the brick wall and zooms in on it, then back to the previous view as the Bulldog covers his eyes, followed by a view of the brick wall as the Bulldog crashes into it, leaving a bulldog-shaped impact on it. The camera then cuts to a view of other bicycle fronts, implying this incident has happened before. The front of the bicycle lands in it, then the camera cuts to a view of the flattened Bulldog, focusing on him as he floats downwards, landing on other flattened dogs. The camera cuts to a view of Buster, who continues riding the detached bicycle)

Buster (to the viewers): "We lose more pooches that way."

(The screen transitions to a view outside Montana Max's mansion, focusing on Buster as he rides the bicycle towards it, tossing more newspapers. It then cuts to a view of the brick wall surrounding it as Buster suddenly stops, followed by a view of Buster's backside. The camera moves up from Buster's backside until it reaches the roof of Monty's mansion. It then cuts back to the previous view as Buster is about to toss a paper with his right hand, but then suddenly stops. The camera zooms in on him)

Buster: "Hey, wait a minute!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Buster drops the paper and pulls out a green book, which he flips through)

Buster: "Hmm. Monty hasn't paid for his subscription since 1985!" (as he closes the book) "Well, I'll take care of that little cheapskate!"

(The screen transitions to a view of a page of a book, which the camera moves down to reveal Monty's right hand writing in it. In Cursive letters, the page says the following:

Stolen Lunch Money: 1,400,000

Hospital Foreclosure: 3,800,000

Farm Foreclosure: 7,000,000

Wills - Foreclosed: 2,000,000

Widrw Murphy Sale: 8,000,000

E. + W. Carlson: 3,000,000

Candy Store Closing: 1,700,000'

E M Mugen Ms.: 7,600,000)

Monty (heard offscreen): "One hundred million, four thousand in stolen lunch money," (as he writes down 3,800,000) "Three million, eight hundred thousand from the hospital foreclosure," (as the camera cuts to an opposing view of him) "Oh, I love money! Twelve million six..."

(Before Monty can continue, a knock at the door interrupts him. Monty gives an annoyed look, then the camera cuts to a view of Jeeves as he walks through the door, carrying a saucer with a cup of hot chocolate. It focuses on him as he takes the saucer to Monty)

Jeeves: "Your hot chocolate, sir."

(The camera cuts to a view of Monty as he turns his attention to Jeeves. He then points to the left side of the screen with his right hand)

Monty: "Put it over there, Jeeves!"

(The camera cuts to a view of a bunch of other saucers with cups and zooms out as Jeeves places the saucer on top of the other cups. Jeves turns around, then the camera cuts back to Monty)

Monty: "You may clean out the stables now!"

Jeeves (as he walks to the door, opens it, and walks through): "Yes, sir."

(Jeeves closes the door. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-in view of Monty)

Monty: "Do a good job, and next year, I'll buy you a shovel! Ha!"

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of Monty and zooms out as he continues writing. He is once again, interrupted by a knock at the door. The camera then cuts back to the previous view)

Monty: ""Grrrr! Now what?!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster outside Monty's door as he continues knocking on it with his left hand). When he stops, he grabs his pouch with both hands. A light emits from the peephole on Monty's door. The camera then cuts to a view of Buster from the peephole)

Monty (heard offscreen)': "Ha! Nice pouch, rabbit! You look like a kangaroo carrying a news stand!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the doors as Monty opens the rightmost one and rushes out)

Monty: "What?!"

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of Buster and Monty)

Buster: "Dispense with the pleasantries, Monty." (as the camera cuts to an opposing view of him as he points to the palm of his right hand with his left index finger) "I'm here to collect for your newspaper subscription."

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of Monty)

Monty (as he points to his robe with his right thumb)': "Why should I pay?!" (as the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of him and Buster) "Your paper's awful! It's got nothing but bad news in it!"

(The camera cuts to an opposing zoomed-in view of Buster)

Buster: "You still owe me two bucks!"

(The camera cuts to an opposing zoomed-in view outside Monty's mansion)

Monty: "Yeah?! Well, get a lawyer, newsie! I'm not gonna pay! Ha!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in side view of Buster as Monty shuts the door)

Buster (as he tosses the pouch behind him): "Oh, yeah? Ha! My lawyer can beat up your lawyer!" (to the viewers, as the camera cuts to a close-up of his face) "Now, it's personal."

(The camera cuts to a view inside Monty's Mansion as Monty runs back to his desk)

Monty: "The nerve of that rabbit." (As the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view and he sits down in his chair) "Doesn't he know rich people never pay?"

(The camera cuts to a further zoomed-in view as Monty picks up the book, which says, BABY'S FIRST TAX SHELTER. Buster emerges from inside the book, and Monty stares in shock at him)

Buster: "What about my two bucks?!"

(Monty literally closes the book on Buster. The camera cuts to a view of a bookshelf as Monty puts the book in the second shelf and closes the doors. It then cuts to a zoomed-out view as Monty pulls a lock out of his robe with his right hand and uses it to lock the doors. He runs to the left side of the screen, then runs back, carrying an axe. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as he uses the axe to chop the bookshelf to pieces, creating a cloud of brown dust. When the dust clears, the bookshelf is now in pieces and Monty is on the left side of the screen, leaned against the axe and panting heavily. He wipes his face with a tissue his left hand is holding)

Monty: "Ha ha ha ha!"

'Buster (heard offscreen): "Hey, Paul Bunyan!"

(Monty drops the axe and stares in shock as the camera moves to the left side of the screen, revealing Buster to be right next to Monty and completely unharmed. He is leaned against his pouch and holding out his right hand)

Buster: "Let me hold that for you."

Monty (as he picks up the axe and hands it to Buster): "Gee, thanks, I..."

(Monty stares in shock at Buster and his jaw drops. The camera cuts to a view inside Monty's basement as Monty's jaw breaks through the floor. It then cuts to a view of Monty above the hole as he suddenly falls into it, then to a view under the hole)

Monty: "Aaaaah!"

(Buster looks through the hole from the left side of the screen as Monty lands with a thud. The camera cuts to a view inside Monty's basement, where there are many expensive treasures including paintings, a vase, and a golden cupid statue. Monty stands back up)

Monty: "Now, take it easy, Max." (as he backs up and the camera focuses on him) "Get a hold of yourself."

(Monty continues backing up. The camera cuts to a view of two boxes as Buster is sitting atop them. When Monty reaches the boxes, Buster pokes the top of his head with his left index finger)

Buster: "Pardon me," (as the camera moves up to him) "But could you give me a hand?"

(Monty looks up at Buster. He stares in shock, and his eyes pop out of his head. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of the eyes as they rush to the right side of the screen. It then cuts to a view of the hallway as they run in and out of the doors like pinballs, even making dinging sound effects as they run. It then cuts to an opposing view of the hallway as the two eyes meet each other. Monty slides back to them, and they are now back in his head. The camera then cuts to a view of a green wall as Monty crawls towards it. He peels the wallpaper, and goes behind it, leaving a Monty-shaped bulge in the wall)

Monty: "Ha ha! He'll never find me here."

(Monty runs to the left side of the screen, leaving a trail behind. The camera then cuts to an opposing view of the wall, focusing on Monty as the runs through it, leaving a trail behind. Monty crashes into a window, then runs above it. The camera continues focusing on him, then cuts to a Buster-shaped bulge in the wall. Buster pulls out his right hand, which he uses to stop Monty)

Buster: "Where's my two bucks?"

Monty: "Aaaaah!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of Buster and Monty as the latter rips through the wall. The camera zooms out as Monty runs away. The Third and Final movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata plays in the background as the camera cuts to a view outside Monty's mansion as Monty runs out the door and closes it. He then runs to the right side of the screen, then returns with several planks of wood. He hammers them to the door to seal it shut. He runs back to the right side of the screen, then the camera cuts to a view of Monty's front yard as Monty runs to the right side of the screen, then runs back to the left, carrying a wheelbarrow full of cement and bricks. The camera cuts back to the previous view as Monty dumps the wheelbarrow in front of the boarded-up door. Monty uses the cement and bricks to build a brick wall in front of the door, then he rushes back to the right side of the screen. The camera cuts to a view of one of the corners of Monty's Mansion as Monty runs past it, then pulls out a pile of dynamite sticks. He runs to the left side of the screen, then the camera cuts to a view of him with an evil grin on his face, holding a book of matches in his right hand and a match in his left. He laughs evilly as he lights the match, giving the screen a red glow)

Monty: "Rabbit, you're finished!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Monty lights the dynamite, then runs to the left side of the screen. It then cuts to a zoomed-out view of Monty's mansion as the dynamite explodes and destroys it, followed by a view of Monty laughing evilly and falling on his back as the dust clears. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view as Monty jumps aboard a yellow scooter and drives it towards the left side of the screen. It then cuts to a view outside a bank that says, MAX SAVINGS AND LOAN. Monty drives the scooter through the doors, then the camera cuts to a view inside, focusing on Monty as he reaches the door to his vault. He opens the door, then the camera cuts to a view inside the vault as he goes inside and shuts the door, panting heavily)

A mysterious voice (heard offscreen): "Pardon me, Sir."

(Monty turns around and stares in shock. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, revealing the voice to belong to what appears to be Byron Basset surrounded by bags of money)

Byron Basset: "Is this your vault?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Monty)

Monty: "Phew! Well, what do you know? I thought you were the rabbit!"

(Monty falls onto his back and laughs hysterically. The camera moves to the left side of the screen as Byron stands up and pulls off his head, revealing himself to be a costume worn by Buster. The camera cuts back to Monty, who is now crying and throwing a tantrum. The camera cuts back to Buster)

Buster: "Aw, I hate to see a grown brat cry, Monty." (as the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of him and Monty and he removes the costume) "So why don't you just pay me the two bucks?"

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of Monty as he reaches into his robe with his right hand and pulls two dollars out, which he hands to Buster)

Monty: "Here, take it! Take anything you want!" (as the camera zooms out on him) "Just get you and that crazy pouch out of here!"

(The camera cuts to an opposing view as Buster walks away, holding the two dollars in his right hand)

Buster: "Sheesh. The things you gotta do to make an honest living."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Monty's backside as he suddenly turns around)

Monty: "Wait a minute, rabbit!"

(The camera cuts to a side view of Buster as Monty runs up to him)

Monty: "My subscription's all paid up, So where's my paper?!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster's backside as he hands Monty a paper with his right hand)

Monty (as he snatches the paper): "Thanks."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view. Buster tries to walk away, but Monty kicks his backside with his right foot)

Monty: "Now beat it!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Monty reading the paper. His eyes bulge out and he gasps at what he sees. The camera then cuts to a view of the headlines, which say, MONTANA MAX'S FORTUNE WIPED OUT! MARKET CRASH LEAVES HEIR WITH ONLY $2.00 CASH!")

Monty: "Montana Max's fortune wiped out? Leaves heir with only two dollars cash?"

(The 2.00 jumps off the paper, then lands back onto it. The camera cuts to an opposing view as Monty drops the paper and laughs while acting crazy. It then cuts to a zoomed-out view as Monty starts acting like a monkey. His face takes up the screen as he laughs crazily, then makes noises with his lips and right index finger. He continues laughing crazily as the screen transitions to a newspaper with his face on it. The camera zooms out, revealing the headlines to say, MONTANA MAX GOES CRAZY FORMER MILLIONAIR COMMITTED AFTER LOSING LAST TWO DOLLARS, and Buster to be reading the paper)

Buster: "Montana Max goes crazy." (as he turns to face and speak to the viewers) "And the moral of this story;" (as the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of him, still wearing the pouch) "It's better to wear a pouch than a straightjacket!"

(Buster jumps into the pouch to wear it like a straightjacket. He gives a hypnotic stare as the screen irises out on him, ending act two)

Act Three

(The third act begins with a view of a lit cigarette on the sidewalk. Buster steps on the cigarette, crushing it and putting it out. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view of him wearing a pink jacket and a pair of black sunglasses)

Buster: "You know, as hip as the 90's get,"

(Buster walks away. The camera cuts to a view of a street corner as Buster walks up to it)

Buster: "There are a few trends that'll never catch on."

(Babs jumps in, wrestling a Hyena)

Babs: "Like live hyena wrestling?"

(Babs and the Hyena roll away as the camera zooms out and Buster picks himself up)

Buster: "That's one."

(Babs returns, holding a giant donut in her left hand)

Babs: "Or the edible hula hoop?"

(Babs puts the giant donut in her mouth and swallows it whole, leaving a giant donut-shaped bulge in her belly)

Buster: "And there's another."

(Babs tries to roll away, but ends up rolling into the camera, which then cuts to view of Buster, focusing on him as he walks down the street)

Buster: "But, there's one trend that's not hip for anyone."

(When Buster reaches the end of the street, it is revealed to be a giant lit cigarette)

Buster: "SMOKING!!!"

(Brown smoke fills up the screen, causing Buster to cough. The screen then fades to black)

Butt Out

The title card is shown, with the title shown above an ashtray filled with used cigarette butts. The screen fades to black, then to the next scene, where Babs is walking down the street corner, past a building with a sign that says, ACME above the door and window)

Babs (singing): "Ain't this neat? As I'm skippin' down the street,"

(The camera cuts to a view of Babs' backside, focusing on her as she continues skipping across the street corner, past a sign)

Babs (singing): "I've got myself a gift certificate, ain't this neat?"

(Babs stops. She then pulls a light blue piece of paper out of her skirt pocket with her left hand and kisses it. She then looks at the camera to talk to the viewers)

Babs (to the viewers): "Oh, hi! Guess who won free eats at the poshest sweet shop in Acme Acres?" (In a deep voice) "Go on, guess!"

(Babs shows the paper to the viewers. It says, LE TRENDY DESERT GIFT CERTIFICATE ONE * FREE * DESERT FOR: Babs Bunny. She then pulls the gift certificate away)

Babs: "Me! Yippie!"

(Babs cartwheels herself to the left side of the screen. The camera cuts to a view of the top of the LE TRENDY Desertery restaurant, which displays the aforementioned name in red letters. Below the sign is an airplane prop. As Babs talks, the camera moves down to the bottom of the restaurant, revealing more vehicle props on the restaurant, including a pink sports car and a school bus along the way)

Babs (heard offscreen) "Le Trendy Desertery cost bucko bucks," (as she appears onscreen) but I get to nosh for nothing!

(The camera moves back up to the top of the restaurant. It then cuts to a view of the school bus prop and zooms out)

Babs (heard offscreen): "Nice parking job."

(Babs walks onscreen and points to the school bus prop. She then goes inside the restaurant. The camera cuts to a view inside the restaurant, where an airplane prop is. Above the prop is a sign that says, PORKY'S PLANE in red letters, and on the right side of the screen, a framed picture of Bugs Bunny dressed in a king's crown and robe can be seen. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, until it reaches props, the first of which is a carrot, and the second of which is a rifle with its front end blown open. There are signs above them, saying BUG'S CARROT and ELMER'S RIFLE, respectively. The camera moves to the right side of the screen again, and stops when it gets to a prop of a boulder with Wile E Coyote's impact silhouette underneath. There is a sign above it that says, ROADRUNNER'S BOULDER. The camera cuts to a view of several children eating their desserts and moves to the right side of the screen, past an airplane propellor prop, a sign that says, NO SMOKING SECTION, and has a picture of a lit cigarette crossed out, and the front of the pink sports car prop. It stops when it gets to Babs, with several similar NO SMOKING signs above her. The camera zooms in on her, then cuts to a zoomed-in view of her, excited about her free dessert)

Babs (in a low voice): "All right, taste buds, get ready to rock and roll!"

(Babs laughs in her low voice. A pair of pink hands reaches from offscreen and places an ice cream sundae with a carrot on top in front of Babs, whose ears spin and wrap themselves together)

Babs: "Insane! The Double Crunch Carrot Cake Santa Fe Surprise!" (as she suddenly has brown hair, blue eyelids, thick, bushy eyelashes, and big red lips) "This is a truly spiritual moment for me."

(Tears fall from Babs' eyes. She suddenly looks normal again, and grabs the spoon with her right hand. Just before she can take a scoop from the sundae, a big cloud of brown smoke fills the screen. Babs coughs violently)

Babs: "Ew! Yuck! Ick!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Babs' eyes as they start to water. She blinks and shakes her head, then the camera cuts to a view of Roderick and Rhubella Rat, both of whom are smoking cigarettes. Roderick is holding one in his left hand and Rhubella is holding one in her right. They both blow brown clouds of smoke)

Roderick: "Outstanding idea to visit Acme Acres, I so enjoy slumming!"

(Roderick laughs, then stops. Rhubella then laughs herself. As she laughs, Roderick blows out clouds of brown smoke. Babs then reaches from offscreen and pokes Roderick's right shoulder with her right index finger. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of her with Roderick and Rhubella)

Babs: "Excuse me, Roderick, Rhubella," (as she pulls down a sign with a picture of a lit cigarette crossed out) "This is the No Smoking section."

(Babs lets go of the sign and it flies back up. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Babs and Roderick together)

Roderick: "Excuse me, Babs, but how about I give you a drum and you beat it?"

(Roderick smokes his cigarette and blows a cloud of brown smoke in Babs' face. The smoke covers her entire body and she starts coughing violently. The smoke clears, then the camera cuts to a view of Rhubella laughing)

Rhubella: "Aw, you made little Babsy-wabsy chokey-wokey! Age out, Babs!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Babs by herself, behind her sundae)

Babs: "Now, this is simply an opinion, but... CIGARETTES ARE GROSS!!"

(Babs picks up her sundae with her right hand and walks to the right side of the screen. The camera cuts to a view of Roderick and Rhubella as she walks up to the latter)

Babs: "Nice outfit, Rhubella. Didn't they have it in your size?"

(Babs walks to the right side of the screen. Roderick laughs, but Rhubella has an angry expression on her face, as she took offense to Babs' remark. Her face turns red, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of her and Roderick)

Rhubella: "Ohhh! Ohhh!"

Roderick: "Uh, ahem. Come on, Rhubella, we'll teach that little riffraff rabbit some manners!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Babs as she walks to an empty table on the right side of the screen and sits down at it. Roderick and Rhubella follow her, then sit down at the empty table on the left side of the screen. Above their table in an X prop. Roderick and Rhubella blow brown smoke at Babs. The camera moves to the right side of the screen as an annoyed Babs walks past the front of the airplane prop and sits at the table to its right side. Roderick and Rhubella follow her and sit down at the table she was previously at, blowing brown smoke at her. An annoyed Babs walks to the right side of the screen again. The camera cuts to an overhead view of some tables. Babs tries to sit down at one and enjoy her sundae in peace, but everywhere she goes, Roderick and Rhubella follow her, sit down at a table next to hers, and blow brown smoke at her. Eventually, a giant cloud of brown smoke forms, and the camera cuts to a view of an empty table as Babs runs up to the kitchen doors, carrying her sundae in her right hand and panting heavily. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of her as she suddenly notices a NO SMOKING SECTION sign with a picture of a lit cigarette crossed out to her left side)

Babs: "AHA!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Roderick and Rhubella, sitting at a table, with many cigarettes in their mouths. They continue smoking until Babs' silhouette fills up the screen. Babs is holding the sign in her right hand. Rhubella's cigarettes fall out of her mouth, then the camera cuts to an opposing view as Babs places the sign on Roderick and Rhubella's table. In the background, a framed picture of Daffy Duck and Porky's drum (complete with the Looney Tunes Logo and a hole) can be seen)

Babs (as she points to the sign with her left index finger): "Read it and weep, punks!"

(Roderick and Rhubella each pull out lit cigarettes. Roderick with his right hand, and Rhubella with her left. They use them to burn the sign, which disintegrates into ash, leaving the only the previously crossed-out cigarette unharmed and floating in midair. Babs gives a shocked expression on her face)

Rhubella: "Butt out, Babs! Smoking is hot, and you are not!"

(Rhubella points to Babs with her right index finger. She then picks up the floating cigarette with her left hand and smokes it, then blows a cloud of brown smoke in Babs' face. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Babs' face, and a fanfare plays as the smoke clears)

Babs: "Well, what do you know? It's showtime!"

(Babs runs to the left side of the screen, which then transitions to a view of Roderick and Rhubella, still smoking at their table. This time, Roderick is on the left side of the screen, with a lit cigarette in his left hand, and Rhubella is on the right, with a lit cigarette in her right hand. As Rhubella talks, Roderick blows out brown smoke)

Rhubella: "It is such a burden being sophisticated and mature, like us."

(The camera cuts to a view of Babs as she wraps her ears together above her head to form a the shape of a snake charmer's hat. As the brown smoke floats above her from the right side of the screen, she then reaches offscreen with her right hand and pulls out a flute. Babs plays the flute, complete with musical notes emitting from it, and the smoke flies back towards the right side of the screen. The camera cuts back to Roderick and Rhubella, both of whom have lit cigarettes in their mouths. Rhubella is combing her hair with a green comb she is holding in her right hand, until the brown smoke squeezes Roderick like a snake. Rhubella has a horrified expression on her face upon witnessing this, which quickly turns into an annoyed one)

Roderick: "Hey, let go!"

(The smoke disappears and Roderick pants heavily. The camera then cuts to a close-up of his face as the brown smoke flies into his nose, causing him to cough violently. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view as Roderick continues coughing violently, then stops suddenly. Babs grabs his nose from offscreen with her right hand and pulls him up by it)

Babs (in a Joan Rivers-esque voice): "Oh, that's a mean-sounding cough, son."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view, revealing Babs to be dressed in a doctor's outfit, complete with a mirror on her head)

Babs (in a Joan Rivers-esque voice): "Could be serious."

(Babs drops Roderick. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Rhubella, who is holding a lit cigarette in her left hand. She has a concerned expression on her face)

Rhubella: "Really?"

(Roderick continues coughing violently from offscreen. The camera cuts back to the previous view as Babs, this time, wearing a stethoscope, grabs Roderick, this time by his hair, and with her left hand, as the other end of the stethoscope is in her right)

Babs (in a Joan Rivers-esque voice): "Oh a cough is nothing to sneeze at." (as she puts Roderick down and places the stethoscope on his chest) "Breathe deep."

(Roderick inhales, puffing out his chest, which takes up most of the screen. He then exhales, and Rhubella runs in behind him)

Babs (in a Joan Rivers-esque voice): "You should hear this."

Rhubella: "What? What?"

(Babs removes the stethoscope and places it in Roderick's right ear and Rhubella's left one. The camera then cuts to a close-up of her and zooms out as she screams into the other end)

Babs: "AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

(The camera moves over to Roderick and Rhubella, who give horrified expressions on their faces. It then cuts to a zoomed-in view of those faces, then to a view of Babs with them as their heads fall into their bodies. Their eyes poke out from them, then their heads rise back up)

Babs (in a Joan Rivers-esque voice): "Oh, your lungs are screaming for help."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Babs as Roderick goes up to her and grabs her doctor's uniform with both hands)

Roderick: "You gotta do something!"

Babs (in a Joan Rivers-esque voice): "If you insist!"

(Babs pushes Roderick away from her, then runs to the right side of the screen. The camera cuts to a view of Roderick on the left side of the screen and Babs on the right side. Babs is holding a tank that says, HELIUM in her left hand, which is connected to an oxygen mask, which she is holding in her right hand)

Babs (in a Joan Rivers-esque voice as she places the mask over Roderick's mouth): "We'll start with oxygen therapy."

(The camera cuts to a view of the helium tank as Babs turns it on with her right hand. It then cuts to a view of Roderick as the helium inflates his face, causing him to float like a balloon. It then cuts to a zoomed-out view underneath as Babs and Rhubella look up at him and zooms out)

Rhubella: "Oooh, mondo strange."

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of Rhubella, who is holding a lit cigarette in her left hand and coughs. It then cuts to a zoomed-out view of her as Babs rushes towards her on the left side of the screen)

Babs (in a Joan Rivers-esque voice): "Oh, oh!" (as she places another oxygen mask over Rhubella's mouth with her right hand) "An epidemic!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Rhubella inflates as well, focusing on her as she floats up to Roderick, then on them both as they continue floating. It then cuts to a view of Babs, who is looking up at them and holding the air hoses with her right hand)

Babs (in a Joan Rivers-esque voice): "Keep breathing." (in her normal voice as she turns to face the camera and talk to the viewers) "I can't help myself." (in a Joan Rivers-esque voice as she looks up at Roderick and Rhubella) "Time's up!"

(Babs pulls on the air hoses with both hands. The camera cuts to a view of the inflated Roderick and Rhubella as the air hoses fall off their mouths and they look at each other, then begin to deflate. It then cuts to a view of some tables as the deflating Roderick and Rhubella fly over them, focusing on them as they fly through the restaurant and past the revolving doors. The camera then cuts back to Babs and zooms out on her)

Babs: "I'll send you my bill!"

(The camera transitions to a view of Babs, back in her normal yellow shirt and purple skirt, sitting at a table on the left side of the screen, ready to eat her sundae at last)

Babs: "At last! I get to pig out!"

(Babs picks up the spoon with her right hand, but just before she can eat the sundae, a brown cloud of smoke appears above her from the left side of the screen. She looks up at the cloud with a dejected expression on her face)

Roderick (heard offscreen): "Good thing that doctor came along!"

Rhubella (heard offscreen as Babs leans her head on her left hand with an annoyed expression on her face): "Yeah! If she hadn't cleared up our coughs..."

(The camera cuts to a view of Roderick and Rhubella sitting at a table under a sign that says, NO SMOKING SECTION, with a picture of a lit cigarette crossed out. Roderick and Rhubella both have cigarettes in their mouths. Roderick is on the left side of the screen, and Rhubella is on the right. Below them is an ashtray filled with used cigarette butts. Rhubella blows out some brown smoke)

Rhubella: "We might have had to give up smoking!"

(Babs appears behind Roderick and Rhubella, with her ears curled up into a beehive-like hairdo. Roderick and Rhubella stare at her in shock, and Rhubella's cigarette falls out of her mouth)

Babs: "So, you want to quit smoking?"

Roderick: "No! I..."

Babs: "Ah! Denial is the first response of an addict!"

Roderick (as he points to himself with his right thumb): "I'm no addict!"

Babs: "You see what I mean!" (as she leans towards Rhubella and puts her left arm around her) "I bet this young lady used to be quite attractive!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Babs and Rhubella as the latter gives the former an angry expression)

Rhubella: "What do you mean, used to be?

(The camera focuses on Babs as she gets back up and pulls out a magnifying glass with her left hand)

Babs (as she pulls out a blue piece of cloth with a face drawn on it): "Smoking causes premature aging of the skin!"

(Babs holds the magnifying glass up to the cloth. The camera then cuts to a view of Rhubella on the right side of the screen as Babs is on the left, and shows Rhubella the magnifying glass over the cloth as if it were a mirror)

Babs: "See? Wrinkles."

(Rhubella looks at the maginfying glass and cloth with a worried expression on her face twitches her nose)

Rhubella: "Aaaaah!" (Rhubella's hair frizzes out)

Babs (as she tosses the magnifying glass and cloth aside): "But, I have a cure!"

(Babs runs offscreen. The screen transitions to a view of the restaurant's entrance as Babs goes through the doorway, driving a tank with a picture of a lit cigarette crossed out on the front, a pair of hammers on each arm, and a vacuum that looks like a cigarette at the front. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-in view of the vacuum as the tank stops. The vacuum then sucks up the brown smoke emitting from the right side of the screen, then the camera cuts to a view of Roderick and Rhubella, both of whom have cigarettes in their mouths. The vacuum sucks up their cigarettes, then the camera focuses on them as the vacuum sucks them up as well. It then cuts to a view of the vacuum as they fly into it, then to a view of Babs as she presses a button on the tank with her right index finger. The camera then cuts back to the previous view as the top of the tank opens up, revealing Roderick and Rhubella to be secured to a pair of wooden planks. Roderick is on the leftmost plank and Rhubella is on the rightmost one. They both have cigarettes in their mouths. As Roderick talks, Rhubella turns to face him)

Roderick: "Whoa! Brutal!"

(The camera cuts back to Babs)

Babs: "Now, when you smoke, this device will create a ve-e-e-ery small, slightly uncomfortable sensation."

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of Roderick and Rhubella as the hammers are now directly above them. It then cuts to a zoomed-in view of them. They are both holding cigarettes in their right hands. As Roderick talks, Rhubella smokes her cigarette, then blows out brown smoke)

Roderick: "Hey, don't worry about me! I'm a stud!

(Roderick smokes his cigarette. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Babs as an instrumental of The Blue Danube Waltz plays in the background. Babs pulls a lever with her right hand, then the camera cuts back to Roderick and Rhubella as they are both hit with hammers to the rhythm of the instrumental. It then cuts back to Babs as she presses a button with her right index finger, then back to Roderick and Rhubella as a pair of mechanical hands reach from offscreen and squeak them to the rhythm of the instrumental. The camera then cuts back to Babs as she presses a button on the side of the tank with her right index finger, then to an overhead view of the tank as a door opens on it. The pair of hands emerge from it, with many cigarettes in their hands. The camera focuses on them as they reach up to Roderick and Rhubella, who now have dejected looks on their faces and stare in shock as the hands put the many cigarettes in their mouths. The cigarettes are also revealed to be wired up to the tank. The camera cuts back to Babs, who reaches for a lever with her left hand, then back to Roderick and Rhubella, who both nod their heads, "No". It then cuts to a zoomed-in view of Babs, who grabs the lever, then to a zoomed-in view of Roderick and Rhubella, who continue nodding their heads, "No", then to a close-up of Babs' head as she nods it, "Yes". The camera then cuts to an underhead view of Babs, moving down as she pulls the lever. It then cuts to a view of Roderick and Rhubella, who now have horrified expressions on their faces as the cigarettes light. The camera then cuts to a view of Babs as she rises up andlooks away from the explosion on the right side of the screen. When the explosion clears, Babs looks up at Roderick and Rhubella. The camera then cuts to a view of Roderick and Rhubella, both of whom are now charred black and have holes in their ears. They are both holding cigarettes, Roderick's in his right hand, and Rhubella's in her left, and they each place them into the ashtray in front of them)

Roderick (angrily): "That's it!"

Rhubella (heard offscreen as the camera cuts to a view of a satisfied Babs): "I AM DONE!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Roderick and Rhubella as they wearily walk away from the tank)

Roderick: "I QUIT! This smoking stuff is hazardous to your health!"

(The camera cuts to an opposing view as Roderick and Rhubella continue walking towards the revolving door)

Rhubella: "Yeah! I think it stutted my growth!"

(Roderick and Rhubella walk through the revolving door. The camera cuts back to Babs, who is now sitting at her table and looking at the left side of the screen. She takes a big sniff at the now freshly-cleaned air, then sighs happily with relief)

Babs: "The sweet smell of success."

(Babs holds up her spoon with her left hand, but unfortunately, her sundae melts right in front of her. She has an angry look on her face as the screen irises out on her. The credits then roll)

Transcripts
Season 1 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 24 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65
Season 2 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78
Season 3 79 | 80 | 81 | 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98
Movies and Specials Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation | Tiny Toon Adventures: Spring Break Special | Tiny Toon Adventures: Night Ghoulery

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