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Kon Ducki/Transcript

Intro

(The title card for Kon Ducki is shown featuring Plucky's ship being bounced around in the water. We then fade to black, and in the next scene, Buster is on the beach, dressed like a pirate captain)

Buster: "Hey, toonsters, It's High-Seas Adventure Day on Tiny Toons, so let's hit the waves!"

(A wave splashes Buster from behind)

Buster: "Or vice-versa."

Act 1/Kon Ducki Part 1

(The title sequence begins with the text, PLUCKY EPIC PICTURES scrolling across the screen as a musical fanfare plays. After the text, reaches the end, the text, PRESENTS appears onscreen, followed by A PLUCK PRODUCTION OF, then, A PLUCKY DUCK FILM. PLUCKY DUCK'S appears onscreen as thunder booms and lightning flashes. The camera then cuts to the ocean, where the text, THE VOYAGE OF THE KON DUCKI zooms in onscreen. It is immediately followed by, starring PLUCKY DUCK as PLUCK HEYERDAHL, which scrolls upward to reveal, A FILM DIRECTED PRODUCED WRITTEN VISUALIZED CONCEIVED CHOREO-GRAPHED AND CATERED BY. The BY zooms in and the screen turns black as the text, PLUCKY DUCK appears onscreen. Scrolling below it is the text, ALSO FEATURING HAMTON J. PIG AS KOOM-BYE-YA. After the title sequence ends, the camera cuts to an overhead view of skyscraper, with a hut on its right side. The camera zooms in on the hut, revealing the words, THE EXPLORERS CLUB on the sign above the door. The camera cuts to the next scene, where, inside the hut, the members of the club have fallen asleep, then moves over to Plucky, who is dressed in a light purple suit and hat, and Hamton is sleeping next to him, wearing a wig, lei, and grass skirt.

Plucky: "And so, fellow adventurers, in summation..."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Plucky)

Plucky: "Nice head noise. I, Pluck Heyerdahl, intent to authenticate my theory that my ancient ancestors did not, as previously believed, fly from the island of Yap to Salinas..."

(Plucky points at the map with a pointing stick. He moves it in a circular motion, ripping a hole in the map. The cut-out circle falls on Hamton, who awakens, and pulls it down on him as the camera moves back to Plucky)

Plucky: "But in fact, sailed there."

(Plucky pounds his podium with his gavel. The camera cuts to a close-up of Explorer #1)

Explorer #1: "That's impossible!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Explorer #2)

Explorer #2: "Sailed?"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Explorer #3)

Explorer #3: "They flew, fool!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Explorer #4)

Explorer #4: "Idiot!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Explorer #5)

Explorer #5: "Buffoon!"

(The camera cuts back to Plucky)

Plucky: "Do I detect disagreement?" (He blows bubbles from his pipe, then coughs some up) "And what's more, I shall construct my ship using only materials that my ancestors had back in 1977."

(The camera cuts back to Explorer #1)

Explorer #1: "You mean things like, mood rings, man?"

(The camera cuts back to Explorer #2)

Explorer #2: "Or ze, uh, mini-skirt?"

(The camera cuts back to Explorer #3)

Explorer #3: "Uh, platform shoes?"

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of Plucky as Hamton lowers a model of the Earth (with him on it))

Plucky: "And I shall do it in 21 days! Let the adventure begin!"

(Plucky spins the model of the Earth, causing Hamton to fall off it and onto him. They both land on the audience. The camera cuts to the map of the Earth, with the cut-out circle taped back on as it zooms in on the Island of Yap. The camera cuts to the Island of Yap and Zooms in on it, showing Plucky's ship being assembled.)

Plucky: "The task of building the Kon Ducki proved to be arguous."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Plucky, who makes it look like he is the one assembling his ship. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view, revealing that Plucky is sitting in a chair, trying to open a bottle of mango juice. The camera cuts to Hamton and Sweetie, who are trying to put the mast on the ship)

Plucky: "This is Koom-Bye-Ya." (The camera cuts to a close-up of Hamton) "My trusted companion, first mate, cook, navigator, and pillow fluffer." (The camera cuts to a close-up of Sweetie) "And this is Little Parrot, along for comic relief, and bemused bitter overused asides."

Sweetie: "Eh, it's a living." (Squawk) "Beware, a violent sight gag approaches."

(The camera cuts back to Hamton. His grass skirt falls down and he blushes in embarrassment. The camera zooms out to reveal the tour guide from the The Acme Acres Zone episode segment, A Bacon Strip drive by in his Acme Sightseeing Tours bus)

Tour Guide: "And to your left is a naked pig."

(With Hamton distracted, the mast begins to fall over. The camera cuts back to Plucky)

Plucky: "Ahhh, mango juice!"

(The mast falls on Plucky. The camera cuts back to Hamton, who has pulled his grass skirt back up.)

Hamton: "Captain Pluck, the mast's in place!"

(Hamton walks over to Plucky, and the camera cuts to the fallen mast)

Hamton: "Pluck? Captain Pluck? Hello?"

Plucky (wearily): "Koom-Bye-Ya, is that you?"

Hamton: "Yes, it's me. Where are you, Captain Pluck?"

Plucky: "Where do you think I am, Koom-Bye-Ya? Just take a tiny little guess!"

Hamton: "Oh, I know, sir. You're trapped under the mast!"

(Hamton lifts the mast, revealing a flattened Plucky. After lifting the mast, Hamton walks away)

Plucky: "Yes, I was. I was trapped under the..."

(The mast falls on Plucky again)

Plucky: "Ooomph!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Hamton)

Hamton: "What's a 'Ooomph?'"

(We then cut to the scene where Hamton and Sweetie are pulling the Kon Ducki from the island to the sea. They are in the ocean while Plucky is on the car and begins to narrate)

Plucky: "And so, our unsinkable vessel met the sea."

(The Kon Ducki sinks, then it fades to the next scene, where Plucky and Hamton are on the ship, and as Plucky points to the sea, Hamton cuts the rope that release the Kon Ducki into the water (fortunately, it stays afloat this time). They begin to sail to Salinas, only to unknowingly sail in the wrong direction, as the Salinas are on the other side of the island, with two giant signs pointing the way. The boat continues to sail, then the camera cuts to Plucky sitting in a chair on top of the car)

Plucky: "Koom-Bye-Ya, do we have all the seventies items, that, like my ancestors, I've brought with me on this journey?"

Hamton: "Yes, Captain Pluck."

(The camera cuts to a view of Hamton's backside as he opens the trunk of the car and goes through each of the seventies items to ensure they have them."

Plucky: "The Popeil Pocket Fisherman?"

(Hamton pulls out the Popeil Pocket Fisherman)

Hamton: "Check."

Plucky: "The presto individual hamburger maker?"

(Hamton pulls out the Presto Individual Hamburger Maker)

Hamton: "Check."

Plucky: "A pair of clogs?"

(Hamton pulls out a pair of clogs)

Hamton: "Check."

Plucky: "Extra polyester shirts with enormous cuffs and collars?"

(Hamton pulls out the extra polyester shirts with enourmous cuffs and collars)

Hamton: "Check."

Plucky: "The Pet Rocks?"

(Hamton pulls out the Pet Rocks)

Hamton: "Check".

Plucky: "Really big headphones?"

(Hamton pulls out the really big headphones)

Hamton: "Check."

Plucky: "A full-length 'Keep on Truckin Poster?"

(Hamton pulls out the poster, revealing a George Jetson look-alike on it)

Hamton: "Check."

(The camera cuts to the inside of the trunk of the car, as Hamton reaches for the Peter Frampton, Bee Gees, and ABBA 8-track tapes)

Plucky: "Peter Frampton, the Bee Gees, and ABBA 8-Track tapes?"

(Hamton places the ABBA 8-track tape into the 8-track player, which plays music. The camera cuts to a close-up of Hamton)

Hamton: "You know, they're all divorced now."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Plucky)

Plucky: "I didn't even know they were married."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Sweetie)

Sweetie: "What? None of those really wide ties?"

(The camera cuts back to Plucky in his chair)

Plucky: "What do you think the sail's made out of?"

(The camera moves to the sail, revealing it is a giant wide tie. In the next scene, The S.S. Minnow (complete with Gilligan and Skipper) drives by the boat as the text, DAY 3 appears onscreen)

Plucky: "Not to worrry, men. The wind will kick up any moment."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Plucky, who sticks his finger in his beak, then holds it in the air in a pose. In the next scene, an English Commander and his one-man crew row their rowboat past Plucky's ship. The text, DAY 4 appears above them)

English Commander: "Men, you're on Half-Rations until we get back to England."

(The camera cuts to Plucky, who is still in his pose. In the next scene, it is snowing as the text, DAY 5 appears on the screen, frozen with icicles hanging from it. The camera cuts to Plucky, who is frozen while in his pose. In the next scene, the shark from JAWS passes by the ship, with the text, DAY 6 above him. The camera cuts back to Plucky, who is still in his pose, but is made of sand, which the wind blows away. In the next scene, we see a close-up of Kirk Douglas.)

Kirk Douglas: "These cameos make me wanna puke!"

(The camera zooms out to reveal him standing on a mechanical fish, which swims past the ship. The text, DAY 9 appears above it, then the camera cuts back to Plucky, who is still in his pose, but is made of stone, which crumbles and his arm falls off and disintegrates. In the next scene, the text, DAY 12 appears above the ship and appears to be melting. the 2 from the text grows a mechanical arm, which pulls out a fan to fan the text. The camera cuts back to Plucky, still in his pose)

Plucky (stiff) "Oil can."

(Sweetie walks to Plucky with an oil can, which she pours on him. Plucky finally stops being in his pose)

Plucky: "I can't stand it anymore!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Plucky throws his tantrum, banging on the roof of the car)

Plucky: "I said I'd accomplish this journey in only 21 days!" (cries)

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Plucky)

Plucky: "I know!" (Snaps fingers) "I'll do my ancestor's ancient dance to the Wind God!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Hamton)

Hamton: "The Wind God?"

(Plucky moves up to Hamton)

Plucky: "Yes, great pig."

(The camera cuts back to Plucky as he jumps on the roof of the car)

Plucky: "Giver of wind to the noble sailor, he has been alive forever!"

(The camera cuts to Sweetie)

Sweetie: "And he wrote the very first song."

(The camera cuts to Plucky on a lighted dance floor, dancing)

Plucky (singing to the tune of Staying Alive by the Bee Gees) "O-oh, o-oh, wind in my sails, bending my rails, O-oh, o-oh!"

(The wind cuts to the sail, revealing that the wind has picked up and is now pushing it along. The camera cuts back to Plucky)

Plucky: "Aha! It worked!"

(The camera moves to Sweetie, revealing she is operating a hair dryer)

Sweetie: "Well, someone had to shut him up." (Squawks)

(The camera cuts to the back of the ship, which is finally in motion again)

Plucky: "At last, our glorious journey had begun."

(The camera cuts to the next scene, where there is a background of the moon and stars in space. Plucky appears, imitating Captain James T. Kirk of Star Trek fame, even dressed like him.)

Plucky: "Captain's log, Stardate 16 point... Oh." (Clears throat) "Wrong film. Heh heh."

(Plucky ducks, and the camera cuts back to the ship as he continues narrating)

Plucky: "Day 16, and I, Pluck, stood watch."

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky's backside)

Plucky: "Like my ancestor's before me, I knew this sea, I knew this course, I knew this boat."

(Plucky pulls out a telescope, and looks at the water gate)

Plucky: "Hey, what's this doohickey?"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of the water gate, with the warning, DO NOT OPEN on it. Plucky opens the gate, and a fish looks at him in horror. Water bursts out of the hole onto the ship. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of the ship, then to Hamton and Sweetie, who awaken in question)

Hamton: "Sir, what happened?"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Plucky)

Plucky: "Nothing. I'm innocent."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Sweetie)

Sweetie (Squawks): "Nice move, Popeye!"

(The camera moves back to Plucky, who looks like Popeye, right down to tooting his pipe, as Hamton worries about the state of their ship)

Hamton: "Captain, we're sinking!"

(Plucky reverts back to normal)

Plucky: "It can't be, we did that gag already!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Sweetie)

Sweetie: "What, you're gonna bring up redundancy now?"

(The camera cuts to Plucky and Hamton, who scoop the water out of the boat in buckets. The sun rises as they continue, then the camera cuts to a close-up of Plucky)

Plucky: "Fear not, my generally loyal crew. We will make it! Nothing can stop us! For, like my ancestors before me, no obstacle, no matter how insurmountable, will stop me! With God as my witness, I will never go hungry again!"

(A huge shadow appears over Plucky)

Plucky: "Because I've just lost my appetite."

(The camera cuts to reveal the huge shadow belonging to an ocean liner, which honks its horn at Plucky, Hamton, Sweetie. The camera cuts to them as they all scream. The cartoon blacks out, ending Act One)

Act 2/Kon Ducki Part 2

(After the commecial break, the ocean liner continues to approach the ship.)

Hamton: "Do something, Captain Pluck! You're our leader!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky and Hamton as Plucky gives Hamton his hat)

Plucky: "I quit! You're the leader!"

Hamton: "What can I do? Order it to stop?"

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of the ship as the ocean liner approaches it. It then cuts to Sweetie)

Sweetie: "Bingo!"

(The camera focuses on Sweetie as she jumps her way to the crow's nest. She presses the button, which moves it up the mast like an elevator. She then holds up a sign that says, TOLL CROSSING. A binocular view focuses on it, then on the Sailor's eyes. The Sailor removes the binoculars)

Sailor: "Captain, look, a toll crossing!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the sailor and the Coast Guard Captain)

Coast Guard Captain: "Dash it all!"

(The camera focuses on the port view of the ocean liner. The Ocean liner screeches to a halt before it can crash into the ship. The camera pans across, revealing it to be dented and cargo to be spilling from it, then cuts back to the sailor and the Coast Guard Captain)

Cost Guard Captain: "Have you got correct change?"

Sailor: "Well, let me check."

(The sailor reaches into his back pocket and pulls out two quarters. He gives them to the Coast Guard Captain, who tosses them into the ship. The camera cuts to a distant view of Plucky and Hamton, who turn around, then to an overhead view of the ocean liner, which goes around the ship, then to a rear view of it as it drives away. The camera then moves back to Plucky and Hamton, who turn around, then cuts to a view of the two quarters in the water. The camera zooms out to the backsides of Plucky and Hamton, then cuts to a distant angle of them as they dive for the two quarters, which Hamton recovers)

Hamton: "We did it! I am a good leader!"

Plucky: "Decisions made in stressful situations don't count."

(Plucky takes his hat back)

Plucky: "I am still the leader!"

(Plucky takes the two quarters and puts them in his pocket)

Sweetie (heard offscreen): "And we're still sinking!"

(The camera cuts to Sweetie, who is scooping the water out with a bucket, then to an overhead view of the ship as it sinks and Sweetie flies away. The camera then cuts to a close-up of Plucky and Hamton as Plucky gives Hamton his hat)

Plucky: "You can be the leader for the next scene or so."

(Hamton takes a deep breath and dives down. The camera cuts to Hamton swimming underwater as he finds the water gate and closes it, then to an overhead view of the ship as it resurfaces. The camera cuts to a close-up of Hamton, then zooms out as Plucky walks to him and takes his hat back)

Plucky: "Good work! You're demoted now! I'm the leader, nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!"

(The camera cuts to the next scene, where the ship is being bounced around by the waves. The text, DAY 17 appears above it. The camera then cuts to Hamton, who takes some food out of the trunk of the car, then closes it)

Plucky: "In keeping with my theory, we prepared to dine on the delectable food my ancestors did back in the ancient 1970's."

(The camera focuses on Hamton as he walks over to Plucky, with a tray of food in his hand. The camera then focuses on Plucky, who is looking rather seasick)

Hamton: "Here you go. Hamburger Helper, Fiddle Faddle, Cheese Whiz, and Screaming Yellow Zonkers, with a delicious glass of Bubble Up to wash it all down."

(Plucky turns white, then grabs the tray and tosses it overboard. He then grabs his beak to prevent himself from puking)

Plucky: "I'll skip lunch!"

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of the ship, as the text, DAY 18 appears below it)

Plucky: "Day 18, and we're in the dreaded doldrums."

(The camera cuts to an angle of the sea, then zooms out to a view of Plucky, who is looking at the sea)

Plucky: "How will we reach Salinas in 21 days?"

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of Plucky as he wears down, then turns around and looks in shock. The camera moves to Hamton and Sweetie, who have fallen asleep)

Plucky: "As the Captain, I must keep my spirits up, for the sake of my crew, who, I fear, are near the point of utter terror."

(The camera cuts to a view of the trunk of the car, with a television set inside. On the television set is a laughing cartoon mouse, who laughs as the Tiny Toon Adventures closing credits theme plays. Plucky jumps down and looks at the television set, then the camera cuts to a close-up of him)

Plucky (to the viewers): "Utter terror takes a lot of different forms, okay?"

(The camera cuts to the next scene, where it is now stormy weather as waves bounce the ship back and forth. The text, DAY 19 appears under it. The camera then cuts to a view of Plucky's backside as the waves move him back and forth)

Plucky: "Time was running thin, but we were full of faith."

(Plucky turns around and freaks out)

Plucky: "What was I thinking?"

(The camera focuses on him as he walks across the ship, throwing a tantrum)

Plucky: "Sailing from Yap to Salinas in 21 days?" (Cries) "I'll be laughed out of the explorer's club!"

(Plucky continues crying and hits the floorboards. He then runs off, and the camera focuses on the hood of the car. Plucky bangs his head on the hood repeatedly)

Plucky: "Shoot me! Shoot me now!"

(Plucky becomes dizzy from banging his head, and the camera focus on him as he walks dizzily, then falls over. Hamton walks to him)

Hamton: "You mustn't give up! Anything worth doing is worth trying! A bird in the hand has a stiff upper lip, and remember, nothing says lovin' like something from the oven!"

(Plucky cries, then stops)

Plucky: "You're right."

(The camera focuses on Plucky as he rises up)

Plucky: "Nothing easy is ever simple! We shall overcome obstacles, and laugh in their general direction!"

(Plucky laughs as the camera zooms in on him. The camera then cuts to the next scene, where the waves continue to bounce the ship up and down. The camera then cuts to a close-up of Plucky, who is looking through a telescope from the ship's bow. The camera then cuts to a view through the telescope as the wave approaches, then the camera cuts back to Plucky as the wave splashes him. Plucky looks again, but another wave splashes him. He looks yet again, but yet another wave splashes him. The camera cuts to a view of the ship as Hamton walks to Plucky and is about to speak, but Plucky stops him before he can)

Hamton: "Uh…"

Plucky: "One more cheery cliché, and I'll turn your face inside out!"

Sweetie (Squawks, heard offscreen): "Captain!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Sweetie holding onto the crow's nest)

Sweetie: "The wind's kicking up!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the sky. Lightning flashes and thunder booms. The camera then cuts to a view of the ship, as it floats on the water and lightning flashes and thunder booms above it. The camera then cuts to a view of Plucky and Hamton)

Plucky: "Men, man the beanbag chairs!" (He picks up Hamton and drops him) "Hoist the Fresca cans, and head for Salinas!"

(A wave splashes Plucky. He rises and spits out the water as lightning flashes and thunder booms. It rains on the ship)

Hamton: "Captain, I think we're heading into a storm!"

Plucky: "Pish-posh and nonsense! What gives you that idea?"

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of the ship as thunder booms and lightning flashes above it. The camera then zooms out to reveal a massive tidal wave, then cuts to a view of the stern of the ship as the tidal wave reveals the Wicked Witch of the East on a bicycle, with Toto in the basket. The camera then cuts back to Plucky and Hamton)

Plucky: "Ha, that's no storm!" (Plucky jumps in shock) "It's the end of the world!"

(Plucky jumps into Hamton's arms as the camera cuts to an overhead view of the ship. The tidal wave washes over the ship, which in the next scene, appears to be sunken. It resurfaces, and Plucky and Hamton run across it, bumping into each other. The camera cuts to a view of the car as Plucky jumps into it to take shelter. Unfortunately for him, the wind rips the car's body off its frames. A wave then washes over Plucky as the camera cuts to a starboard view of the ship. Waves toss the ship back and forth (including one that takes the form of a fist, and another in the form of a human), then the camera focuses on the ship as it gets tossed back onto the water. A wave tears the ship into pieces, and the camera focuses on Plucky, Hamton, and Sweetie, as they swim for their lives, holding onto a piece of wood from the ship. They get sucked down a whirlpool, and the camera cuts to the next scene, where the pieces of the ship are on the beach. The camera zooms in, then moves to Hamton and Sweetie, who awaken and look for Plucky)

Hamton: "Where's Captain Pluck? Captain Pluck! Captain Pluck!"

(Plucky rises from the sand, with a piece of the ship in his mouth, which he spits out. Hamton and Sweetie rush to his aid)

Plucky: "Phew! I'm sorry, men. we failed. I... I... I tried my best..." (He jumps on Hamton) "I really did..." (cries) "I'm a failure!" (He cries and bangs his head with his fists repeatedly, then grabs Hamton's face) "But to quote Frank Capra, 'No man is a failure who has friends'." (A bell dings) "Thank you, Clarence."

Hamton: "But Captain Pluck, we made it! We succeeded!"

(Sweetie points to her right side, and Plucky turns around. The camera cuts to an overhead view of the three, then moves to the carnival of Salinas, with a sign that says, WOW! WELCOME TO SALINAS. The text, DAY 21 appears under the sign. The camera cuts back to Plucky, Hamton, and Sweetie. Plucky drops Hamton and jumps into the air for joy)

Plucky: "I did it! Yahoo!" (laughs and hugs Hamton) "Wait till those pompous Explorer Club buffoons hear about this!"

(The camera focuses on Plucky as he runs to a rock and stands on it, then zooms in on him)

Plucky: "I, Pluck Heyerdahl, am the bravest explorer of all time!"

(A wave splashes Plucky, then the camera cuts to a close-up of him)

Plucky: "Mommy, make it stop!"

(Sweetie walks next to Plucky, holding a bucket of water, revealing it was she who splashed him with it)

Sweetie: "Well, somebody had to shut him up!"

(The cartoon irises out on Plucky, ending Act 2.)

MORE COMING SOON

Act 3/The Making of Kon Ducki

(After the commercial break, a musical fanfare plays as the camera zooms in from Hollywood to a theater where Kon Ducki is being shown. Buster, dressed in a tuxedo, is shown next to a poster)

Buster: "When the film, Kon Ducki came to the screen, it captured the imagination of millions"

(The camera zooms into the poster, and in the next scene, Plucky as Pluck Heyerdahl is on the ship with Hamton as Koom-Bye-Ya)

Buster: "But how was it done? What genius had the strength, patience, and insight to see it through?"

(As Buster continues reading the script Plucky wrote self-promoting himself, Plucky makes poses, including a muscular pose, a pose where he blows bubbles from a pipe, and breathes fire, concluding with him with a big brain while blowing bubbles from the same pipe)

Buster: "Who was so brilliant? So smart? So intelligent?" (Buster stops for a second and appears onscreen) "Who wrote this stuff?"

Plucky: "Just read it."

Buster: "Now, join me, Buster Bunny, as we take a look behind the scenes at, The Making of Kon Ducki."

(The title card for THE MAKING OF KON DUCKI drops down on top of them. The camera zooms into the "O" of the word, KON, then cuts to the next scene, where Plucky, as Pluck Heyerdahl, is in the studio, with the ship being bounced around by Calamity Coyote, and Concord Condor splashing Plucky with a bucket of water to create the wave effect)

Buster: "This is Plucky Duck, the writer/producer/director of Kon Ducki. A Mature professional, the definition of grace under pressure."

(After being splashed at for the umpteenth time, Plucky becomes annoyed. He spits out some of the water that Concord splashed on him)

Plucky: "CUT!"

(Concord splashes Plucky one last time. Plucky walks up to Concord, places the bucket over his head and bangs it with a hammer repeatedly)

Plucky: "Not! In! My! Face!"

(Plucky walks off and Concord falls over. The next scene shows footage of Brazil, Tunisia, and Tibet)

Buster: "For the filming of Kon Ducki, locations like Brazil, Tunisia, and Tibet... were not used."

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of the WB studio.)

Buster: "It was all done in a sound stage."

(The camera cuts to Buster sitting in a chair on the left side, interviewing Plucky sitting in a chair on the right side)

Plucky: "When I first saw the cover to the book, Kon Ducki, I thought it would make a great film."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Plucky, who shows the viewers the cover to the book, Kon Ducki)

Plucky: "And if I'd read it, I would have been sure."

Shirley (heard offscreen): "Like, we're ready to start shooting, P.D."

(The camera cuts to Shirley, next to a director's chair that says, PLUGGY DOUG. Plucky walks over angrily)

Shirley: "Like, what is it, P.D.?"

Plucky: "What is it?"

(The camera cuts to Plucky)

Plucky: "Look at my chair!"

Shirley (heard offscreen): "Pluggy Doug."

(The camera zooms out, revealing it is running as Plucky rants to Shirley)

Plucky: "How am I supposed to be a creative genius in a chair for 'Pluggy Doug'?" (Plucky smashes the chair and walks up to Shirley) "Are you insane? You simpleton! You..." (Plucky stops and realizes he is on camera. He then calms down) "Capable assistant, you. Please fix the chair, dear one." (Shirley walks away with the smashed chair as Plucky blows kisses to her) "Oh, the burden of brilliance. Did you get that?"

(The camera cuts to Plucky entering his makeup trailer)

Buster: "Plucky's dedication to perfection requires that he look exactly like his character."

(The camera cuts to Plucky sitting in a chair as Fifi spins it around)

Buster: "So the beginning of each day involves a full eight hours of make-up."

(Fifi places two straws in Plucky's nostrils. She then runs offscreen and returns with a bucket of plaster, which she pours on Plucky's face.)

Buster: "A plaster mold is made of his face, and then carefully removed by a time-tested secret movie magic method."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Plucky's face as Fifi is about to talk to him)

Fifi: "Monsieur director Plucky, someone has parked in your very private parking space!"

(The camera cuts to a further angle, where an angry Plucky emits steam from his nostrils, spins around, and splits the hardened mold in half)

Plucky: "What? Who? How dare! Who? Nobody parks in my space, nobody!"

(Fifi grabs the two halves of the mold. The camera cuts to a close-up of her)

Buster: "A latex mask is made from the mold."

(Fifi joins the two halves of the mold together, then reaches and grabs a bottle marked "Latex". Fifi squirts the latex into the mold, then removes half of the mold, revealing a mask of Plucky's face. She pulls out the mask, then the camera cuts back to Plucky)

Buster: "And finally, the high detailed mask is applied. Total time; eight hours."

(Fifi puts the mask on Plucky, then spins his chair around. When it stops, his face is revealed to be upside down. Fifi stares in shock)

Plucky: "But it's worth it to look like this, don't you think?"

(The camera cuts to the next scene, which takes place inside the costume department)

Buster: "Other cast members must wear a full costume that covers their entire body."

(The camera moves towards Sweetie, then cuts to a close-up of her. Sweetie unzips herself, revealing her to be a costumed Richard Nixon.)

Richard Nixon: "Phew! I am not a crook!"

(Richard then zips the Sweetie costume back up)

Sweetie: "Did I mention I'm only getting scale?"

(The camera cuts to the next scene, where Buster is in a projection booth)

Buster: "Mega-stars like Plucky Duck rely on support from their co-stars, as seen in this rare behind-the-scenes footage."

(The camera zooms into the film projector, then cuts to a scene from Kon Ducki)

Plucky: "Nothing... Uh..."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Hamton, as Plucky pulls down his eyelids, revealing them to have "Nothing easy is" and "ever simple" written on them. The camera then cuts to a close-up of Plucky)

Plucky: "Ahem. Nothing easy is ever simple! We shall overcome obstacles, and... uh..."

(Plucky rushes offscreen. The camera cuts to Sweetie as Plucky ducks to her. She opens her mouth, revealing a piece of paper on her tongue, which Plucky reads over. The camera cuts back to a close-up of Plucky)

Plucky: "And laugh in their general..."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Sweetie, with the piece of paper still on her tongue)

Plucky: "Uh, directions! Okay, cut!"

(Sweetie closes her mouth, chomping down on Plucky's finger. The camera cuts to Plucky, who screams in pain. The camera then cuts to the next scene, where Plucky is sitting in a chair, about to drink some mango juice)

Plucky: "Ahhh, mango juice!"

(The mast falls on Plucky. The camera then cuts to the next scene, where Plucky is in the studio. This time, his director's chair says, PLOOGY DOOG)

Plucky: "Stunt duck! Stunt duck!"

(The camera cuts to Hamton, who is dressing like Plucky as Pluck Heyerdahl)

Hamton: "Uh, uh... I'm not sure if I want to do this, P.D."

(Plucky walks up to Hamton)

Plucky: "Hamton, Babe, Swineheart, listen. Sure, I could use just any old stinky duck, but you, Babe, you are the only one, who can act."

Hamton: "You think so?"

Plucky: "I don't have to think! I'm the director!" (As he and Hamton walk towards the set) "You've got talent out the snout! Now, go get em'!" (To the viewers) "Sucker."

(The camera cuts to the next scene, with Plucky in his director's chair, as Hamton prepares to say his line)

Plucky: "Action!"

(The cameraman holds a clapper board, saying Act 1, Scene 1, Take 1, "Kon Ducky", P. Duck - Director. He claps the clapper board)

Hamton: "Ahhh, mango fruit!"

(The mast falls on Hamton. The camera then cuts to Plucky, who is not pleased with the take)

Plucky: "Cut! Cut cut cut cut, cut cut. Not 'fruit'. 'Juice'! Mango Juice! Let's do it again!" (He sits back down in his chair) "Action!"

(The cameraman holds a clapper board, saying Act 1, Scene 1, Take 2, "Kon Ducky", P. Duck - Director. He claps the clapper board. Hamton now has a lump on his head from the fallen mast)

Hamton: "Ahhh, mango drink!"

(The mast falls on Hamton)

Plucky (heard offscreen): "'Juice'! Mango juice!"

(The cameraman holds a clapper board, saying Act 1, Scene 1, Take 46, "Kon Ducky", P. Duck - Director. He claps the clapper board. Hamton now has two lumps on his head from the fallen mast)

Hamton: "Ahhh, mango liquid refreshment!"

(The mast falls on Hamton. The cameraman holds a clapper board, saying Act 1, Scene 1, Take 47, "Kon Ducky", P. Duck - Director. He claps the clapper board. Hamton now has three lumps on his head from the fallen mast.)

Hamton (dazed) "Ahhh, mango wango!"

(The mast falls on Hamton. The cameraman holds a clapper board, saying Act 1, Scene 1, Take 63, "Kon Ducky, P. Duck - Director. He claps the clapper board. Hamton's head is now spinning)

Hamton (dazed): "I'll take Charlie Weaver to block!"

(The mast falls on the end of the chair, launching Hamton out of it and causing him to land on the floor next to a very angry Plucky)

Plucky: "You imbecile! You call yourself an actor? Gimme that!"

(He snatches the bottle, and walks up to the set, unaware of the trouble he's about to put himself in. The camera cuts to Plucky, who is about to sit in the chair)

Plucky: "You open the bottle and say," (Plucky opens the bottle) "'Ahhh, mango juice!'"

(The mast falls on Plucky. The camera cuts to a close-up of him)

Plucky: "Print that!"

(The camera fades to black, then cuts to the next scene, where Plucky is in the projection booth. He removes a film reel from the projector)

Plucky: "We did a tremendous amount of special effects for this movie."

(Plucky walks over to a model spaceship, which lights up)

Plucky: "If you added up all the effects from Close Encounters, E.T., and the Back to the Future movies, you'd have a very large number. We didn't do that many. But, for the storm scene..."

(The camera cuts to a large amount of fans. It zooms out, revealing it is part of the special effects for the set."

Plucky: "We did build the largest fan system ever constructed!" (To Calamity) "And, action!"

(The camera cuts to Calamity, who turns on the fans. The camera then cuts to the outside of the WB studio, revealing the force of the wind blows a hole in the studio and a lot of the filming equipment away)

Buster: "After losing six weeks' shooting time to the fan incident,"

(The camera cuts to a view of the boat from Kon Ducki in a storm situation)

Buster: "Plucky decided to construct the storm scene in industrial light and hocus-pocus. First, a scale model of the boat was filmed in a storm situation."

(The camera zooms out, revealing the scale model of the boat to be flushed down the toilet)

Plucky (As he flushes the toilet): "Oh, my ancestors, oh! Splat!"

(The camera cuts to the scene of the Cruise ship about to crash into the boat)

Buster: "Then the actors were filmed."

(The camera cuts to Plucky, Hamton, and Sweetie in the boat)

Plucky: "It's the end of the world!"

(The camera moves down to reveal that Plucky, Hamton, and Sweetie are puppets, controlled by puppeteers, who themselves are puppets controlled by puppeteers)

Buster: "These state-of-the-art servo-controlled motors are operated by trained professionals."

(The camera cuts to Plucky in his director's chair. He removes his hat)

Plucky: "To be an adventurer is to be obsessed." (He looks at his hat) "I've already worn this hat! I need a new hat!"

(Plucky runs off, revealing his director's chair to say, PLUNKY DUNK. The camera then cuts to Hamton sitting in the chair, and slowly zooms in on him)

Hamton: "If adventure has a name, it must be Plucky Duck! What a wonderful joy it's been, working for this creative... I can't read that next word, P.D."

(The camera cuts to Plucky, revealing he is holding a cue card that he wrote, and that Hamton has been reading off of them)

Plucky: "Genius! Genius!"

(Plucky tosses the card, then blocks the camera with his hand. The camera fades to black, then cuts to the next scene, where a pile of film is)

Buster: "After the film was edited..."

(The camera moves to the editor, who is mummified from all the film, as he walks out of the editing room)

Buster: "And the soundtrack added..."

(The camera cuts to Li'l Sneezer, who is sitting in a chair and playing a kazoo into the microphone, then cuts to Plucky in a screening room, nervously awaiting the results of his film)

Buster: "The director views the final product."

Plucky (crying hysterically): "Oh, oh, oh! I'm a genius! I am a genius! (laughs) "A toast to me!" (He pulls out a can of Mango juice and opens it) "Ahhh, mango juice!"

(Just as Plucky is about to drink the mango juice, the mast falls on him. The cartoon fades to black, and the credits roll)

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