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Animaniacs!/Transcript

Act One

(The episode begins with Plucky's intro tag. After that, the title card is shown, which shows Plucky's hand animating a cel of Plucky running. The screen fades to black, then to a view of Acme Looniversity. The camera moves suddenly to the right side of the screen as Plucky rushes over, then cuts to a close-up of him as he screeches to a halt)

Plucky: "Smooth move, Plucky! Oversleeping on finals day! Oh, well."

(Plucky runs to the right side of the screen, then the camera cuts to a view outside Acme Looniversity as Plucky runs up the stairs)

Plucky: "It's only into to animation. True, I've never been to a single class."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view as the doors open and Furrball walks out, carrying pieces of paper. Plucky runs into Furrball as he runs inside Acme Looniversity, knocking him down the stairs and causing him to drop the pieces of paper)

Plucky: "Heads up, Pal!"

(The camera cuts to a view inside Acme Looniversity, focusing on Plucky as he runs down the hall, and cutting to various views of the hallway, until he reaches a door that says 'ANIMATION 101, which the camera zooms out on. Plucky stops just outside the door)

Plucky: "Just great; enrolled in a class I've never been to or heard of. But if it's animation, I'll probably just have to watch some dopey cartoons. Yeah, it'll be a cinch."

(Plucky snaps his fingers, turns around, and opens the door. After he opens the door, he stares in shock. The camera cuts to a view inside the classroom and moves to the right side of the screen. Inside the classroom, Dizzy, Babs, and Gogo are working on their cartoons, Sweetie and Elmyra are installing film into a reel, and Hamton is working with a video camera as Buster moves a toy car across a scale model of a path near a volcano. The camera briefly cuts to a nervous Plucky, then back to Buster)

Buster: "Well, look who finally made it to class!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Elmyra and Hamton as Plucky walks inside the classroom)

Plucky: "What's going on? Where are the cartoons?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster)

Buster: "We're makin' em, for the animation festival tonight."

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster and Plucky together)

Plucky: "Making em? For tonight?"

Buster (as he clamps his hands over Plucky's beak): "Sure! It's the only way you get a passing grade. You do know how to make a cartoon, don't you?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky by himself)

Plucky: "Oh, sure. You get a camera," (Plucky pulls out a camera) "some weird scenery," (Plucky pulls down a poorly-drawn backdrop of a forest with mountains) "and some goofy-looking people," (Plucky pulls in Hamton and Dizzy) "and take pictures!"

(The camera cuts back to Buster)

Buster: "This looks like a job for the magic pen!"

(The camera moves over to the right side of the screen, revealing a shining yellow pen in a glass case. Underneath the case is a sign that says, OPEN IN CASE OF ANIMATION IGNORANCE. The camera then cuts to a side view of the case as Buster opens it, then to an opposing view of Buster as he pulls the pen, which stops shining, out. The camera then cuts to a view of Buster and Plucky together)

Buster: "Now, hold still!"

(Buster sucks Plucky into the pen)

Plucky: "Wha, wha, wait! What's going on!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Buster)

Buster: "Just givin' you a fast lesson in animation!"

Plucky (muffled, inside the pen): "Hey, get me out of here, for Pete's sake, what do you think you're doing?!"

(The camera cuts to a view of a writing desk as Buster sits down in a chair and spins around in it)

Buster: "As long as anyone can remember, people have been fascinated by pictures that move."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of the paper on the desk as Buster appears above it, then a further zoomed-in view as he uses the pen to draw the WB Animation Studio building, which the camera zooms in on.)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Let's look inside a modern, big-time animation studio."

(The camera cuts to a view inside the studio, where we see storyboards posted on the wall. Next to the storyboards are a dartboard with three darts in it, and underneath the storyboards is an overflowing trash can below a basketball hoop. Inside the trash can are pieces of paper with rejected storyboards)

Buster (heard offscreen): "It begins with the writers."

(The camera moves over to a table, where Furrball, Monty, and Elmyra are sleeping)

Buster: "They dream up wacky situations for our cartoon actors to play out."

(A dream cloud appears above Monty, then fills up the screen. Inside the dream cloud is a farm background. Plucky, dressed in overalls and a farm hat and carrying a hoe, walks up to a beet buried in the ground)

Buster (heard offscreen): "From this basic situation, they think up the sight gags and jokes we call 'Comedy Beats'."

(Plucky drops the hoe, then grabs the beet with both hands, grunting as he tries to pull it out. When he does pull it out, many beets are revealed to be underneath. Plucky looks up, and all the beets fall down onto his head, burying him. He pulls his head out from the pile of beets)

Plucky: "That's enough comedy beets, already!"

(A giant beet falls on Plucky. The camera cuts to a view of Gogo and zooms out on him. He is sitting at a chair near a writing desk as he looks over the script)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Next, the writer's ideas get translated to a storyboard."

(Gogo scoffs and puts the script in the trash, plugging his nose with his left hand)

Gogo: "P.U.!"

(Gogo spins a pencil in his right hand as he suddenly gets an idea. He laughs, and draws a picture on the storyboard. The camera cuts to a view of the storyboard and zooms in on it as Gogo draws the picture)

Buster (heard offscreen): "That's sort of a comic strip for the artists to follow."

(The camera cuts to a view of the finished picture of Plucky's 'Comedy Beets' scenario, moving to the right side of the screen as Gogo draws more pictures of the same situation. After the third picture, Plucky begins to move)

Plucky: "If this were a comic strip, there'd be a gag right here."

(A giant beet falls on Plucky, who then pulls it off)

Plucky (dazed): "Anyone for borscht?"

(Plucky steps on the hoe, which slams him in the face. The camera cuts back to Gogo, who laughs hysterically as Hamton takes the storyboard. It then cuts to a view of him placing the storyboard above his piece of paper and drawing pictures from the storyboard onto the piece of paper)

Buster (heard offscreen): "The storyboard goes to the layout artist. He's a cartoonist who draws poses to define and broaden the action only hinted at in the storyboard."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of the piece of paper as Hamton draws Plucky. He adds another piece of paper atop and draws another picture of Plucky, then he adds a third piece of paper atop and draws a picture of Plucky being flattened by the giant beet. He adds a fourth piece of paper and draws a picture of a dazed Plucky about to step on the hoe, then a fifth one, where he draws Plucky being hit by the hoe. The camera cuts back to the previous view as Fifi reaches from offscreen and takes the storyboard, then to a view of her sitting at her desk as she looks over the storyboard)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Then, the background artists study the storyboard to get ideas for our cartoon setting)

(The camera cuts to a side view of Fifi as she looks at it, then draws the farm background. It then cuts to a view of the farm background and zooms out on it as she finishes it. Plucky appears on the left side of the screen as he walks up to it)

Plucky: "Old McPlucky had a farm."

(Plucky jumps into the background. Fifi picks up the background, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of her as she turns around and looks at it, until Calamity reaches from offscreen and snatches it from her. The camera cuts to a view of Calamity's backside, focusing on him as he runs over to a desk where Little Beeper is waiting)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Then, the drawings are rushed to the background painters."

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of Calamity and Beeper as they look over the background, then to a view of the background itself)

Plucky: "I was thinking of something in a chartreuse."

(The camera cuts back to Calamity and Beeper as Calamity suddenly gets an idea. He hands Beeper a tube of squeezable paint, which Beeper holds in his mouth, and holds one of his own)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Ready, set, okay, create, guys!"

(Calamity and Beeper both squirt the paint onto the background. The camera cuts to a view of Plucky in the background as he tries to dodge the paint)

Plucky: "Hey! Whoa! Hey! Whoa! Stop it!"

(The camera cuts back to Calamity and Beeper as they finish. Beeper squirts Calamity with his tube of paint, and rushes off as Calamity shakes the paint off his face. Calamity then grabs several tubes of paint and prepares to chase after Beeper, intending to squirt him back. He rushes off with a single tube of paint, leaving the others behind. The camera cuts back to Plucky as the background has been painted, as well as himself. He walks out, leaving a Plucky-shaped white area as he shakes the paint off. The camera then cuts to a close-up of him)

Plucky: "Sheesh!"

(Plucky grabs the left side of the screen and pulls it, revealing the next scene, where Babs Bunny is in a sound recording booth. Dizzy is at the controls outside the booth, and Shirley is sitting at a table, looking over the script in between Babs and Dizzy)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Meanwhile, the animation script is being recorded by talented, gifted, genius voice artists."

(The camera zooms in on Babs, then cuts to a view of her inside the booth)

Babs (imitating Plucky): "This script stinks! It needs more comedy beets!"

Plucky (as he walks into the booth): "Imposter! Doesn't sound a thing like me!"

(Babs stares in shock as a giant beet falls on Plucky. It bounces off him, leaving him dazed)

Plucky (dazed): "Hey, Buster, when does the fun begin?"

(The camera cuts to a view of a desk as Dizzy pulls up a chair and sits down at it, preparing to draw a cartoon. The camera zooms in on him as he looks at himself in a mirror and grins)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Well, if you're the lucky artist called 'animator', fun means motion."

(Dizzy turns around, picks up a pencil, tosses it, and catches it. He then prepares to draw. The camera cuts to a side view of him as he draws on several pieces of paper, then to an overhead view of one of the pieces of paper, as a picture of Plucky dressed as a farmer is drawn. It then cuts to a zoomed-in view as Dizzy puts several more pieces of paper with different poses on top of each other)

Buster (heard offscreen): "With animated drawings done by assistant animators..."

(The last picture is of a giant beet falling on Plucky and flattening him)

Buster (heard offscreen): "The finished animation looks like this."

(The beet bounces off Plucky and he steps on the hoe, which slams him in the face)

Buster: "It's called a pencil test."

(An angry Plucky walks up to the camera)

Plucky: "Pencil test? Ha! I'll show you pencil test!"

(Plucky walks up to a door and opens it, revealing several anthropomorphic pencils taking tests. The camera zooms in on the doorway and cuts to a view inside the classroom. On the chalkboard is text that says, You Young Shavers Sharpen your Heads and Get the Lead Out. The text is drawn crudely, with several reversed letters. The pencil teacher walks up to one student as the student is seen looking over another's answers)

Pencil Teacher: "Do I see one of you two bees peeking? Watch it, you lead heads!"

(The camera zooms out on the doorway as Plucky closes the door)

Plucky: "Pencil test! Little joke!"

(Plucky laughs, and the camera focuses on him as he walks away from the door)

Plucky: "Another one of those comedy beats."

(Plucky continues laughing, then stares in shock, as he realizes another giant beet is going to fall on him. He runs further away, but the giant beet falls on him anyway. The camera cuts to a view of Shirley at a desk she puts one of the pieces of paper on the desk and covers it in a sheet of plastic)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Next, all those animation drawings you just saw get traced onto clear, plastic sheets called cels, ready for painting."

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of the cel as Shirley traces the picture of Plucky onto it. She removes the cel, then the camera cuts back to the previous view, then to a view of Sweetie as she hands the cel to her. Sweetie reaches offscreen, pulls out a paintbrush, and dips it in green paint. She paints Plucky, then the camera cuts to a view of him being painted)

Plucky: "Hey! Watch those bristles!"

(Plucky pushes the paintbrush out of the way, and brushes off his hands, flinging the green paint off. He looks at his painted self)

Plucky: "Now the fun begins, right?"

(The screen wipes to the right side, revealing the next scene, taking place at the film room. Concord Condor pulls in a wagon with a stack of papers)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Well, not unless you think it's fun to photograph several thousand painted cels over their proper backgrounds one frame of moving at a time."

(The camera cuts to a side view of Concord as he sets a cel of Plucky down on the table, then to an overhead view of the cel as the sheet of glass closes on it)

Plucky: "Phew! I'd rather do my homework than his job."

(The camera cuts to a view of a projection booth and zooms in on its screen)

Buster (heard offscreen): "After the editors piece the film together, Steven gives us lots of notes,"

(The farm background is shown on the screen as Plucky walks in)

Plucky: "Hey, look, I'm a finished cartoon!"

(A giant beet falls on Plucky and bounces off him, leaving him dazed)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Sound effects, and music."

(Plucky steps on the rake. The camera zooms out, revealing the cartoon to have been played in a theater, with various anthropomorphic animals sitting in the seats)

Buster (heard offscreen): "Oh, yeah. Oh, then there's the most important element of a cartoon; the audience!"

(The audience applauds as Plucky takes a bow. The camera cuts to a view of Buster and he turns to face the viewers)

Buster: "And that's how a cartoon is made. Eh, sort of."

(The camera cuts to a view of the classroom as Buster walks in and sprays Plucky out of the pen)

Buster: "Any questions?"

(The camera cuts to a side view of Buster's backside as he looks at Plucky)

Plucky: "Yeah! How's about lettin' me borrow that doo-hickey and whip up a prize-winning student film?"

(The camera cuts back to the previous view as Plucky snatches the pen from Buster. The pen escapes from Plucky's grasp and draws a straightjacket on him. It flies to the right side of the screen, then the camera cuts to a view of the glass case it was it as it goes inside it and blows a raspberry at Plucky. The glass case closes, then the camera cuts to a close-up of Buster)

Buster: "The magic pen is for instructional use only."

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster and Plucky together as Buster points to the clock)

Buster: "That means you better get busy, pal!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the clock. On it are four quarter pieces, each one with a different saying. The North one says, SHOWTIME, the East one says GETTING CLOSE, the South one says, TIME'S A WASTING, and the West one says UH-OH. The hand moves over from the South quarter to the West one)

Buster: "It's almost Showtime!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky and Buster as Plucky tears off the straightjacket and screams. It then cuts to a zoomed-out view as Plucky panics, taking various pieces of paper out of the desk and tossing them aside, then opening the cabinet, taking out various tubes of paint, and tossing them aside as well)

Plucky: "Who's got a pencil? And paper! I need paper! Ink, paint, pen! Help!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Buster)

Buster: "Now that's animation!"

(The screen fades to black, ending Act One)

Act Two

(The second act begins with an anthropomorphic brown dog in a red shirt drinking from the water fountain. The camera moves over to a door that says, FACULTY LOUNGE as Shirley, Furrball, and Calamity walk past it)

Foghorn Leghorn (heard offscreen): "I say, that's a joke, son!"

Daffy (heard offscreen): "Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!"

Road Runner (heard offscreen): "Beep beep!"

(The camera zooms in on the door)

Tweety (heard offscreen): "I tawt I taw a puddy tat!"

Sylvester (heard offscreen): "Sufferin' succotash!"

(The screen trasnitions to a view inside the faculty lounge and the camera moves to the right side of the screen. Inside the lounge, the Looney Tunes characters are sitting at a table. Taz pours some coffee from a pot and eats the pot. Daffy is reading a newspaper, Foghorn is eating a cookie, and Bugs is holding a carrot. He pounds his fist on the table)

Bugs: "All right, put a sock in it!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Bugs)

Bugs: "Distinguished friends, honored colleagues, beloved cartoon stars..."

(The camera cuts to a view of Daffy, who is still reading his newspaper)

Bugs: "And uh, you too, Daffy."

(Daffy pulls down the newspaper. He is not amused by Bugs' joke)

Daffy (sarcastically): "Oh, har har. It is to laugh."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of Bugs as he talks to the other Looney Tunes)

Bugs: "It's finals week again, which means it's time for the student animation festival."

(The camera cuts to a view of Daffy sitting next to Taz. He gasps, and ducks under the table. The camera cuts to a view under the table, focusing on Daffy as he tries to sneak away)

Bugs (heard offscreen): "The kids are all working hard on their films,"

(The camera cuts to a view of the other Looney Tunes characters and zooms out on them)

Bugs (heard offscreen): "And I'm sure you're all dyin' to volunteer as judges."

(The Looney Tunes characters stare in shock, then run away. The camera cuts to a view of Daffy as he tries to open the door, but the other Looney Tunes characters run past him and crash through the door. Daffy spins around, and when he stops, Tweety walks up to him)

Tweety: "Ooh! I'm getting my wittle piddies out of here!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Bugs, focusing on him as he drags Porky by his tail, until they reach Daffy)

Porky: "Oh, p-p-p-please, Bugs. Anything but judging those awful st-st-st-student films."

Bugs: "I know, but the big boys at Time Warner will yank our tenure if we don't."

(Bugs steps on Daffy's foot, which pulls Daffy to an upright standing position)

Daffy: "They're despicable!"

(The screen wipes to the next scene, where Buster and Babs are seen drawing at their desks. The camera moves to the right side of the screen as Plucky tosses several pieces of paper into the air)

Plucky: "Bbbblll! I quit!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky at his desk as he slams his fists on the desk, tosses more pieces of paper, splits a pencil in half, picks up a ruler, and slams it on the desk like a hammer repeatedly)

Plucky: "Stupid brainless animation! Dumb pencils! Final exam!"

(Buster walks up to Plucky)

Buster: "Plucky?"

(Plucky holds a pose that looks like he is going to hit Buster with the ruler)

Buster: "Whoa! Hold it, pal! It's me, Buster!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Plucky)

Plucky: "Buster?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of Buster and Plucky)

Buster: "That's right. Now give me the sword, Toshiro."

(Plucky hands the ruler to Buster)

Plucky: "Sorry, Buster, but this animation stuff has fried my brain."

Buster: "What is the problem?"

(Plucky walks away. The camera cuts to a view of some storyboards hanging on the wall as Plucky walks up to them)

Plucky: "I'm trying to tell a story of power, passion, tragedy, and triumph! It's about my life, of course."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Buster)

Buster: "Hmmm. Perfect subject for a cartoon."

(The camera cuts back to Plucky)

Plucky: "Anyway, I'm having trouble telling the backstory of my early years, while keeping the immediacy of the dramatic present-day narrative."

(The camera cuts back to Buster)

Buster: "Eh?"

(The camera cuts back to Plucky)

Plucky: "I wanna show what happened when I was a kid!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Buster walks up to Plucky)

Buster: "Oh, I get it. You want to learn to do a flashback."

Plucky: "Yeah, a flash... A flash-what?"

Buster: "A flashback. Flashback. It's a simple film trick, like a wipe."

(Buster reaches offscreen and pulls out a background of the next scene, where he and Plucky are on the Acme Looniversity clock tower. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view as Plucky looks down and screams. He jumps onto Buster and holds him, then the camera cuts to a further zoomed-in view)

Buster: "In a wipe, the camera moves real fast, and you're suddenly somewhere else."

Plucky: "Well, move us somewhere else, now!"

Buster: "Easy, this time we'll use a fade-out."

(The screen fades to black)

Buster: "And now, a fade-in."

(The screen fades to Buster and Plucky in Animation 101)

Buster: "See what you missed by cutting class?"

Plucky: "Not bad."

(Plucky jumps off of Buster)

Plucky: "So, tell me more about that flashback thing."

(The camera cuts to a view of the clock as the hand moves from TIME'S A WASTING to UH-OH)

Plucky (heard offscreen): "It's close to show-time, and I've got to finish my film!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Buster)

Buster: "It's easy. All you have to do is remember something that happened in the past."

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky)

Plucky: "Right." (As he pulls out a video camera): "We've got to record the fascinating moments of my childhood and splice them into my movie."

(Buster walks up to Plucky, then the screen suddenly ripples)

Plucky: "Hey! What's going on? Everything's getting ripply!"

Buster: "Eh, you get used to it."

(The screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place at Plucky's pond in the past. When the screen stops rippling, Buster and Plucky fall into the water. The camera cuts to a close-up of Buster as he pokes his head out of the water, with a fish in his mouth. He spits the fish out)

Buster: "Next time, watch where you're flashing!"

(The camera moves over to Plucky)

Plucky: "Sorry. Hey, look over there!"

(Plucky points to the right side of the screen. The camera cuts to a view of Buster and Plucky's backsides and zooms in as they see Plucky as a baby in an inner tube. It then cuts briefly to a view of Baby Plucky)

Plucky: "That's me as a baby with my first inner tube!"

(The camera cuts back to Plucky)

Plucky: "Oh, I was a cute little quacker." (As he pulls out his video camera) "This'll make a great opening scene."

(The camera cuts back to baby Plucky, focusing on him as he floats across the pond, passing a dragonfly, until he bumps into a hollow log. The log pops the inner tube, causing it to deflate and push him back across the pond. The camera cuts to different views of Baby Plucky as he is pushed across the pond, until the inner tube is completely deflated and he lands on solid ground. Baby Plucky cries, then the camera cuts back to Plucky in his normal age as tears fill up his eyes)

Plucky: "I remember that. Poor little fella."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Plucky cries and Buster walks up to him)

Plucky: "The screen isn't ready for such heartbreaking pathos."

Buster (as he pats Plucky on the head): "I couldn't agree with you more. Let's flash out of here;" (As he shows Plucky his wrinkled tail) "My tail's getting wrinkled."

Plucky: "Okay."

(The screen transitions to some soldiers battling in World War II. The camera moves to the right side of the screen as a tank drives by, and Buster and Plucky appear after the tank moves away. They scream in horror as they are being fired at, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of them)

Buster (as he grabs and shakes Plucky): "Oh, great! You flashed us back into the middle of World War II!"

Plucky: "Give me a break, I'm new at this."

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of Buster and Plucky as the silhouette of an airplane can be seen over them. It then cuts to a view under the plane as it drops a bomb, then back to Buster and Plucky as they scream in fear. The screen ripples, and they disappear just before the bomb can hit them. The camera cuts to a view of some apes near a giant block in the Dawn of Time, then to a view of a dazed Buster and Plucky behind them, followed by a zoomed-in view of Buster and Plucky)

Buster: "You shouldn't mess around with time too much. Remember what happened in Back to the Future?"

Plucky: "Yeah, It was a great movie."

(Plucky holds up a sign that says, $PLUG$. He then tosses the sign aside)

Plucky: "I'll stop once I flash back to the Dawn of Time and shoot it for my student film. I'll win first prize for sure!"

(The camera cuts to a side view of Buster and Plucky)

Buster: "Sounds too risky for me. I'm flashing home."

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of Plucky)

Plucky: "Can't stand the competition, huh?"

(The camera cuts back to Buster and Plucky as the screen ripples. Buster disappears, leaving Plucky behind. An ape's arm emerges from behind a rock and hits Plucky with a bone. The camera zooms out, and the apes beat up Plucky, who screams in pain. The screen fades to black, then to the next scene, which takes place in Animation 101 as Buster appears)

Buster: "You know, I don't think I ever taught Plucky how to flash forward. Oh, well. He'll probably figure it out. Then again, this is Plucky we're talking about."

(Buster runs off to the left side of the screen. The camera cuts to a view of the Magic Pen's glass case and zooms out on it as Buster opens the case and snatches the pen. He runs back to the left side of the screen, then the camera cuts to a view of him running down the hall, followed by a view inside the library as he opens the door, focusing as he runs to a bookshelf marked, NATURAL HISTORY. The camera then cuts to a view of Buster in between two bookshelves as a book rattles on the one on the left side of the screen)

Plucky (muffled and heard offscreen): "Help! Get me out of here!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the book on the shelf as Buster pulls it off, then to a view of the book's front cover. The book reads, PREHISTORIC LIFE. The book shakes, then the camera cuts to a view of Buster as he opens the book, followed by a view inside the book of Plucky as an amoeba, zooming in on him)

Plucky: "I'm an angry little amoeba!"

Buster: "I knew you'd get in trouble!"

(Buster uses the magic pen to extract Plucky from the book)

Plucky: "Whoa!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster as he puts the book back on the shelf and sprays Plucky out of the pen)

Plucky (as he shakes Buster's hand): "Thanks, pal! I'm me again!"

Buster (as Plucky hugs his neck): "And just in time for the animation festival."

(The camera cuts to a view of the clock as the hand reaches SHOWTIME. It then cuts back to Buster and Plucky)

Plucky: "And me without a film!"

(Plucky faints and falls over. Buster sprays black ink from the pen, which covers up the screen, ending Act Two)

Act Three

(The third act begins with a view outside the Auditorium as the camera zooms in on it. It then cuts to an overhead view inside, as Buster walks onstage)

Audience: "Roll film! Roll film! Roll film!"

(The camera cuts to a side view of Buster. The audience cheers, and Montana Max boos)

Buster: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and Monty. And welcome to the Acme Looniversity Animation festival. Tonight, we..."

Monty (as he throws a tomato at Buster, who dodges it): "Get off the stage, rabbit!"

Buster: "Have some great films, each one made by one of our talented students."

(The camera cuts to Plucky in Animation 101, who is drawing pictures for his film, The Plucky Duck Story)

Plucky: "This talented student's still working on his!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the balcony and zooms in on it. It then cuts to Bugs, Daffy, and Porky, who are in a bed, preparing to take a nap. At the foot of the bed is a sign that says, JUDGE'S BOOTH)

Buster: "And up in the balcony, the judges are ready to give the films their full attention."

(The camera cuts back to Buster as Monty throws more tomatoes, lettuce, and a carrot at Buster. Buster catches the carrot)

Buster: "So, without further ado..."

Monty (as he throws celery and a watermelon at Buster): "Boo, get him off!"

(Buster catches the watermelon with his ears and tosses it back. It lands on Monty)

Monty: "Ow!"

(Buster blows a raspberry)

Buster: "On with the show!"

(Buster walks offstage. The camera cuts to Bugs, Daffy, and Porky and focuses on Daffy as he tries to sneak away)

Daffy: "Uh, I just remembered an important meeting out of town, in Tibet."

(Just as Daffy is about to open the door, Bugs reaches from offscreen and grabs him)

Bugs: "Sit down!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the stage and zooms in on the screen. On the screen is poorly written text that says, ELMYRA'S AMINALS, AMINALS, AMINALS, AND MORE AMINALS IN COLOR.

Audience: "Focus! Focus!"

Elmyra (in her film): "A film poem by Elmyra."

(The camera cuts to Elmyra sitting in the audience as she hugs Babs)

Elmyra: "Whee! It's my movie!"

Babs: "Yeesh. I hate horror flicks."

(The camera cuts back to Elmyra's film, which is drawn crudely in crayon. On the film, a dog can be seen running across a field)

Elmyra (in her film): "I love the little furry ones, but when they run away,"

(In the film, Elmyra picks up the dog, and in the next scene, she is literally seen crushing the dog to death)

Elmyra (in her film): "I can't believe they'd want to leave, so I squeeze them till' they stay!"

(Elmyra's film ends with a tombstone with the words, THE END written on it. The camera cuts to a view of Daffy and Bugs)

Daffy: "This is your revenge for all those Rabbit Season signs I put up every year, isn't it? Sadist."

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster onstage)

Buster: "Next, a scary little item by Hamton J. Pig."

(The camera zooms in on the screen as Buster walks offstage. The text, MY WORST NIGHTMARE, A FILM BY HAMTON J. PIG is shown onscreen, which then transitions to a black and white view of Hamton's house. The camera zooms in on the window, then the screen transitions to a black and white view of Hamton in his bed, looking scared)

Hamton (in his film): "N-no! N-n-n-n-no, no, please! N-n-n-not that! A-anything but that! N-no, please! Aaah!"

(Hamton awakens)

Hamton (in his film): "Phew! Just a dream. Thank goodness!"

(Hamton goes back to sleep, and the text, THE END! appears onscreen. The camera cuts to a view of Hamton in the audience. He is the only one cheering for his film)

Hamton: "Yay! Bravo! Hooray!" (as he claps) "Yippie!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky in Animation 101, as he is preparing to put one of his drawings under a sheet of glass)

Plucky: "Huh. If they like that slop, they'll love my film!"

(Plucky drops the glass, which slams down on his finger)

Plucky: "Yow!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster onstage as he reads off a cue card)

Buster: "Next, a performance piece by Dizzy Devil! Your guess is as good as mine."

(The screen fades to black, then to Dizzy's film, which, like Elmyra's, is drawn crudely in crayon (arguably even more so). The text, DIZZY EAT WORLD appears onscreen)

Dizzy (in his film): "Dizzy Eat World!"

(A crudely-drawn animation of Dizzy's gaping jaw engulfing the Earth is shown. Dizzy burps, then in the next scene, the text, THAT ALL FOLKS! appears onscreen through a logo similar to the Looney Tunes logo)

Dizzy (in his film, to the tune of the Looney Tunes theme): "Da da da da da da da da da da da da, ya da da da da da!" (Imitating Porky Pig): "Th-th-th-that all, folks!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Bugs, Daffy, and Porky, who all have horrified expressions on their faces)

Daffy: "Shoot me! Shoot me now!"

(The camera cuts to Monty in the audience, who is eating popcorn)

Monty: "My films up next! It's a hoot!" (to the viewers): "For what I paid to have it done, it should be."

(Monty's film is shown onscreen. The text, A MONTANA MAX CHRISTMAS is shown over a snowy background. The screen transitions to a view of the fireplace inside the log cabin. A pair of arms puts a Christmas tree in the fireplace. The fireplace burns the Christmas tree, then the camera cuts to Buster and Babs)

Babs: "Brrr! I'm so cold and hungry!"

Buster: "Achoo!"

(Buster's sneeze puts out the fire)

Buster: "Boo-hoo. All we're getting for Christmas is pneumonia."

Monty Claus (heard offscreen as the Buster turns his head): "Ho ho ho!"

Buster: "Oh, hark! Can it be?"

(The camera cuts to a view of the door as Monty Claus, carrying a bag of money, opens it)

Monty Claus: "Merry Christmas!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Buster and Babs)

Buster and Babs: "It's Monty Claus!"

(The camera cuts back to Monty Claus as Buster and Babs walk up to him and kiss his foot)

Monty Claus: "I wouldn't forget my little bunny pals at Christmas. Here."

(Monty Claus drops the bag of Money on top of Buster and Babs)

Monty Claus: "May your days be merry and bright."

(Monty Claus laughs evilly. The camera cuts to a view of Buster and Babs in the audience, who are not happy with the way Monty Claus is mistreating Buster and Babs)

Babs Bunny: "Oh, that's sick!"

Buster: "Boo! Get it off!"

(The camera cuts back to Monty's film)

Monty Claus: "Now to ring in the new year!"

(Monty Claus pulls a hammer out of his bag, and in the next scene, he hits Buster and Babs with it. Before he can hit them again, Monty's film is cut from the projector. Various boos and jeers can be heard from the toons as they pick Monty up and carry him out of the Auditorium)

Monty: "What? What? This will be a beloved holiday classic! Hey, put me down!"

(The camera cuts to a view outside the auditorium as the toons toss Monty out. It then cuts to a view of him after they walk back in)

Monty: "This is censorship! I'll sue!"

(Monty's film gets tossed into his mouth. The camera cuts to a view of Bugs and Daffy as Daffy is looking through a Playduck Magazine (complete with a cigarettes advertisement on the back). Bugs snatches the magazine from Daffy, then looks through it himself. The camera cuts to a view of Buster as he walks onstage)

Buster: "Let's see some wackiness! Roll Gogo's film!"

(Buster walks offstage, then the camera zooms in on the screen. Footage from the 1953 Warner Bros. film, So You Want To Learn To Dance is shown, with dubbed music. The film is in black and white and depicts a couple dancing. After two dance scenes, the camera briefly cuts to the toons sitting in the audience with blank stares, then it cuts back to the film as the couple continues dancing. They conclude their dance by having the man pick up the woman by the legs, spin her around, and toss her. The text, THE END is shown over an 8-ball and the WB logo near the text, A WARNER BROS. PICTURE. The screen fades to black, then to a view of Babs sitting next to Gogo in the audience)

Babs: "Gogo, that was the dumbest thing I ever saw."

Gogo: "That was realism, Babs."

Babs: "We were hoping you'd do something wacky!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view as Gogo presses his head up against Babs')

Gogo: "Wacky?" (In a deep voice) "Uh, can't I have a serious moment now and then?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Gogo jumps out of his chair)

Gogo (normal voice): "It's always, 'Stand on your head, Gogo!'"

(Gogo detaches his head and his body stands on top of it)

Gogo: "'Do that weird thing with your tongue, Gogo!'"

(Gogo sticks out his tongue. When he pulls it back in, his head is floating in midair)

Gogo (in a deep voice): "Even I have to take a break from wackiness occasionally."

(Gogo walks away. The camera cuts to Bugs, Daffy, and Porky)

Porky: "P-p-please, Bugs! I can't take anym-m-m, I've had enough."

Daffy: "Yeah, when it comes to cartoons, us old-timers only have a six-minute attention span."

Bugs: "Hang on, fellas. There's only two more to go."

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster onstage)

Buster: "Now, to introduce the next film, here's Shirley the Loon."

(Shirley walks onstage as Buster walks offstage)

Shirley: "Um, like, thanks, Buster."

(The camera zooms in on Shirley)

Shirley: "Okay, first let me say that I had to, like, cut my animated tone poem, Song of the Loon to fit onto the program schedule, it's really sad. Still, I think it holds up pretty well at its shortened running time of 17 hours and 34 minutes."

(The camera cuts to Bugs, Daffy, and Porky, who all scream in shock. It then cuts to a view of the door as they run to it, but get shocked when they try to open it. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, revealing that on the other side of the door, Shirley has attached a battery charger to the doorknob)

Shirley: "Like, this year, we're keeping the judges inside for a change."

(The camera cuts to the screen and zooms in on it. The screen fades to black, then to a view of a seed. A flower grows from the seed, then the flower turns into the sun. The sun then turns into a butterfly, which floats down onto Shirley's head, turning into her bow. Shirley winks, then the camera cuts to Plucky, who finally has his film, The Plucky Duck Story finished and is holding the film reel for it)

Plucky: "It's finished at last! Every frame a classic! The Plucky Duck Story!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of the door as Buster opens it)

Buster: "Hey, Plucky, Shirley's film is running long, You're gonna have to cut yours down. Sorry!"

(Buster closes the door. The camera cuts back to Plucky as he tosses the reel aside. The screen wipes to a view of the audience, and the camera moves to the left side of the screen, revealing they have fallen asleep, no doubt from the length of Shirley's film. Dizzy yawns, then the camera cuts to a vision that takes place on a sepiatone background. A clock that says, EAT AT JOE'S, flies by Dizzy with its hands turning forward really fast. An hourglass floats past by a tired Babs and Buster, then the screen transitions to a sun setting over a mountain. The screen then transitions to many floating eyeballs as a calendar flies past them, removing pieces of paper from March 12 to March 17. The screen then transitions back to the mountain as the sun rises, then back to the screen as the flower ducks back into the seed. The text, LIKE, THE END appears on the screen, and the text, FER SURE appears under it. The camera cuts to Bugs, who gives a nervous stare, then moves over to Porky, who babbles, then finally, to Daffy)

Daffy: "Is it over? Huh? Is it? Is it? Huh? Huh?"

(The camera cuts to a view of a tired Buster as he walks onstage)

Buster: "Oh, nice work, Shirl." (Yawns) "I can hardly wait for the sequel. We're coming down to the end, folks!"

(The audience cheers and tosses pieces of paper in the air. The camera cuts to a close-up of Buster)

Buster: "For our last entry, a cartoon by Plucky Duck!"

(The camera cuts to a view inside the projection booth, as the floor is covered in film. Plucky emerges from the film)

Plucky: "I hope I managed to save the artistic integrity of my film."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view as Plucky turns on the projector. It then cuts to a view of the screen as a red background that resembles the Looney Tunes background appears on it, with the numbers, 3, 2, and 1. Baby Plucky then appears onscreen with his deflated inner tube and cries, and the words, THE and END appear on the left and right sides of the screen, respectively. The camera cuts back to Bugs, Daffy, and Porky)

Bugs: "It's magnificent!"

Porky: "It's stupendous!"

Daffy: "It's short!"

Bugs, Daffy, and Porky: "It wins!"

(The camera cuts to Buster as he runs back onstage)

Buster: "Fellow toonatics, I give you the winner of the Looniversity Animation Festival, Plucky Duck!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Plucky as he is being carried across the hall by Bugs and Daffy. The audience claps and cheers)

Plucky: "This is great! What's my prize? What's my prize?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Porky standing outside the door to Animation 101. Bugs and Daffy walk up to the door)

Bugs: "Eh, you get to take the course over again, on account of you skipped it the first time."

(Porky opens the door and Bugs and Daffy toss Plucky inside. The camera cuts to a close-up of the door as Porky closes it and moves up to the window as Plucky looks outside it)

Plucky: "Comedy beats like this I can do without. Uh-oh."

(Many beets fall on Plucky. The cartoon irises out on him, and the credits roll)

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